woozlewazzle

Where is everyone?

2012-01-17T12:12:00.004+11:00

Very soon another season of the Biggest Loser will begin on Australian telly. I know this because the advertising campaign is relentless. These days they creatively choose a theme for the seasons and this year it's 'Singles'.

I won't post the ad here but these are the key elements I get before I flip the channel:

Audio: Regina Spektor's cover of 'Real Love'
Visual: Usually one person, in white, on a beige background a-la-photoshoot, speaks about how they're ready to love themselves again, or find love, or be proud of themselves.

Where is everyone on this? How has the blogosphere that I read not said one peep about this crappy, detrimental, patronising and socially damaging campaign? Why am I surprised? Here is what I hear in these ads....
"I can't love myself when I'm this big. I don't think anyone else can either. I find it acceptable that people can't see me past the fat, so I'm going to lose it, because all I see is fat too. Yeah, no one likes fat people."

I don't know how to explain it (so rambling is afoot), but what I really hear is the product of a culture that has taught someone that they are somehow not good enough because they're big.
A bit of disclosure: I speak from a privileged point of view. I am a classic cis woman - female looking, mainstream height, weight, colour, shoe size, everything. My biggest challenge in clothes shopping is I'm about a 10-12, and those sizes goes first. Tough times indeed. When I see magazines, advertising, etc about make-up, clothes, products, routines that I'm supposed to buy into "because I respect myself", its easy for me to ignore them. I don't think that's just because I have a healthy self-image, or that I don't like to shop, or that I was unpopular in school so I've mostly fobbed off that 'pretty' crap. I think it's partly easy because, physically, I have no public display of being unfit. When I buy fish & chips, no one looks me up & down and judges me for being irresponsible - my figure shows I'm apparently sensible enough with the rest of my diet. When I exercise, no one links that to my size or my opinion of it. I fit into seats, I get through doorways, I can pass poeple in corridors, I can climb stairs, I can pick things up - all without anyone ever noticing what I'm doing or the effort it may take me. But I get the impression it's not the same for large people. If I feel bombarded by images of more-ideal-than-me that I'm supposed to choose, I can only imagine what a large person is experiencing.

I think size-ism has been in fashion for a long time, but especially so right now. I also think we treat weight like we treat the economy - we wish is were a meritocracy. And I think that's a load of crap.
In a meritocracy, people would generally deserve their situation. Certainly for the most part, people who are happy with their lot in life like to believe they've earned it in some way - very few says its all in the stars. By extension, there is no such thing as misfortune, only bad choices and deserved outcomes. I think people treat weight the same way - "you've earned the size you are and all the responses things that some with it." ( I think calling someone a 'skinny bitch' is a warped version of 'tall poppy syndrome', and I won't even go into the seething I have for labelling someone a bitch just because of their size.)

I think these ads normalise the idea that self-esteem and love are (justifiably) elusive for large people and that everyone else is justified in being disinterested in large people. I know that obesity is becoming a more prevalent issue for Australia, but I don't think pointing at large people - in this punishing, separatist, distancing way - is anything like a step toward a healthier country. Portion sizes, access to healthy food, access to physical activities in lower-socio-economic communities, attitudes to activity during secondary school - all these things relate to the health of someone as they create the habits of their adulthood. It is generally accepted that to be large is unhealthy, but there's something in me that believes some people are just big - they've always been big, they're going to be big, and maybe it will affect their health in the future, but you know what? Shit loads of things affect health - drinking, wrong foods, stress, poor work places, unhappy families - and most of them are invisible to the average bystander. There will always be people who have unhealthy habits - why should large people get everyone's open contempt? Why do people feel entitled to presume someone's discontent and then comment & advise them on living habits, as thought their singular experience will apply to all?

Before all that though:
Making change when you feel shit about yourself is like pushing water uphill. We've known this since we stopped saying "that child has bad blood".

It really shouldn't matter what I think of your weight or size. I don't think I have a right to make you feel any particular way about the way you look, and I don't see why anyone feels entitled to use their judgements about weight to inflict an emotion upon others.

My good fortune.

2012-01-17T11:50:00.003+11:00

I read this last night off my phone, frowning furiously at the little screen not because of its size but because of the vehemence I felt for the post.

Through feeds and media I get a bit of the US primaries and what not, and I watch with interest knowing that the attitudes voiced in American culture are echoed here through their media products and our reporting media's recounts. When Obama says something significant, it will be shown on our news. When a republican front-runner makes a gaffe, I can see it somewhere on our free-to-air network.

So when I read this, a lament sparked from the impotence of the US government (and alternatives) for their own 'feminist voice', I am riled for the women of the US. I am so thankful that abortion is legal in Australia (governed state-by-state) and that, even though there are people who opposed it completely, terrorism here towards those who provide abortions is minimal. However, McEwan's excellently expressed fury had me thinking of women's rights in general and not reproductive rights alone.

They count on feminist men never showing up en masse for the main event.

They count on the Democratic Party being too squeamish, too spineless, too unprincipled, too apathetic to stand up for reproductive rights, unyieldingly.

They count on reproductive rights being the first bargaining chip on the table.

They count on the still almost entirely male leadership of the Democratic Party and the vast number of male Democratic partisans giving themselves permission to not get publicly involved, or to get publicly involved only when it's convenient and not all that risky and not all that hard.

They count on men trading on that privilege of not having to get involved.

They count on Democratic partisans being more interested in hectoring dispossessed progressive women than in being their allies and fighting this fight alongside them, every day.

They count on reproductive rights being treated as Woman's Work, and thus being devalued as woman's work inevitably is.

I shudder to think how my world would be different if abortion were illegal here, how I would feel about my autonomy, my choices. I feel 'othered' enough as a woman without having to defer to the state about my body's future.

This post.

2011-11-05T18:01:00.006+11:00

I do not know how to say why I like this post:

Well, having children changes you. Jonathan Coulton likens it to becoming a vampire.

I was having a conversation with a friend who had recently become a parent, and she reminded me of something I had forgotten about since my daughter was born. She was describing this what-have-I-done feeling – I just got everything perfect in my life, and then I went and messed it all up by having a baby. I don’t feel that way anymore, but the thought certainly crossed my mind a few times at the beginning. Eventually you just fall in love and forget about everything else, but it’s not a very comfortable transition. I compare the process to becoming a vampire, your old self dies in a sad and painful way, but then you come out the other side with immortality, super strength and a taste for human blood. At least that’s how it was for me. At any rate, it’s complicated.

Maybe tongue in cheek, but not that far from the truth, honestly. Your children, they ruin everything in the nicest way.
Before Henry was born, I remembered Scott Hanselman writing this odd blurb about being a parent:

You think you love you wife when you marry her. Then you have a baby and you realize you'd throw your ~~wife~~ yourself under a bus to save your baby. You can't love something more.

Nuts to that, I thought. Hanselman's crazy. Well, obviously he doesn't love his wife as much as I love mine. Sniff. Babies, whatever, sure, they're super cute on calendars, just like puppies and kittens. Then I had a baby. And by God, he was right. I wouldn't just throw myself under a bus for my baby, I'd happily throw my wife under that bus too – without the slightest hesitation. What the hell just happened to me?

from Jeff Atwood. Read all the words!

That post: Sniff. [wipe tear]

Gendered education

2011-09-11T17:00:00.007+10:00

Coasting around some teaching resources I came across this blog post from an educator in Thailand who is connected to an international school.

The author has been looking into boys education and they're concerned with the way education seems to have been benefiting girls in the past few decades. He says:

...the evidence has been emerging around the world since the late 90’s showing that boys are struggling in school far more than their fathers’ ever did. The evidence shows that "girls on average outperform boys in school, when measured by report card grades, in most subjects and in all age groups."

I don't know if these grades are against criteria or against groups, but there are a lot of factors that could skew these results. For instance, in my father's generation, students who were typically non-academic would have left in Year 8 and gone onto (respected) career-specific training, thus removing themselves from the cohort who would contribute to this kind of data. These days non-academic students are kept in school and their contributions may create a lower average. There're also the changes in teacher education and possibly generational attitudes towards genders and how teacher might grade a student's understanding. Although I don't understand how this kind of skewing could be accounted for in statistics, I am trusting it's been absorbed and suitable allowances made.

Now, I've read a few things about gender and gender issues in education, but I haven't written much on the matter. So please bare with me as I bash out my gut feelings about this***. These are the areas that the author is discussing. They seem to be sourced from some texts on the topic. I'm going to group them into two areas: differences that can be quantified and differences that are hard to quantify.

Areas that I think can be quantified:

Girls are born with more sensitive hearing than boys and this difference increases with age.
Girls develop a link between the amygdala and the cerebral cortex much earlier than boys.
There is apparently a difference in the anatomy of the eye in which the male retina is thicker than a female’s due to cell composition. This leads to preferences regarding colours and motion.
... males and females navigate differently and will give directions using different words.
And one I'm tentative about: ...boys tend to be ready later for being introduced to the skills of reading and writing than girls. This is most probably due to the fact that boys and girls brains develop in a different sequence

Areas that I think are hard to quantify:

Boys and girls like to read different types of books because of the way their brain develops. Girls enjoy fiction, short stories and novels....Boys on the other hand prefer nonfiction, action books with strong male characters who often act as brave heroes.
Boys and girls have different perspectives about friendships. Girls enjoy spending time together, face to face, talking and sharing secrets and self disclosure. Whereas boys friendships tend to develop out of shared interest in a game or activity.
Males are innately more aggressive than females due to the hormone testosterone. Boys enjoy ‘rough and tumble’ play fighting as it releases aggression, whereas girls do not have this need.
Boys find risks irresistible, they admire others who take risks and get a thrill from physically risky activities.

So about half the differences of concern are, in my non-psychologically-qualified opinion, very difficult to measure. As far as gathering evidence goes, how these conclusions can possibly be separated from a child's training and cultural influence concerns me. So I shall go through these assertions with these disclosures*:

Types of books: In my class, on average, there are a few more boys than girls who enjoy war stories, and the Horrible Histories. The war stories ones are clearly pitched at boys, though, so it's hard to gauge what's causing that preference.
However, series that are about child spies, or apocalyptic situations where violence or death are involved, are enjoyed equally by boys and girls. The girls love strong characters like Ellie Linton, or James Adams, just like the boys do.
I had a new student start with us, from South Korea, and he was a fantastic person and quickly settled into the class, making lots of friends. His first books were The Baby Sitters Club, partly for the reading level and partly for the topic. It was two weeks before one of the boys pointed out it was generally 'a girls' book' but I did like the way he said "Just so you know" to insist that he wasn't teasing.
The boys don't read the 'girls'' stories as much as the girls read the 'boys''. But I don't think this is an 'topic per gender' issue. Most of the stories promoted to us are male stories, and just as it's now OK for girls to wear pants, its more acceptable for a girl to read 'boys'' stories than vice versa. This issue is more complicated that individual preference.
Perspectives about friendship: The boys worry and care about friendships as much as the girls. Not every girl wants a 'friendship' with their teacher, and many of the boys do. Physical contact (or lack of) from a teacher has its place for all students, and whether and when it's used depends on the student and their needs at the time much more than their gender.
Boys being 'more aggressive': This is a gross simplification of the way boys play. Their play can be better characterised by contact and this is sometimes aggressive.
When Year 5 and 6 classes move around the school there are often pairs of girls, individual girls and boys and one or two amoeba-like masses of boys. They're not fighting or rough-housing as such, but they like the contact. The way they seek contact with their female friends is different. (It's worth noting too, that there are fewer acceptable ways for them to do this, without people linking it to romance, even if it isn't there.)
I suspect it would be hard to tell the difference between a desire for aggressive play and a desire for contact that can be justified with socially-acceptable aggressive play. This aspect relates back to the previous point of contact in friendships and contact when working with boys.
Boys find risks irresistible: If I say "Well, boys will be boys" is it clear that I'm using that phrase ironically? Boys are taught that risky behaviour is boyish. I just don't see it at school. Girls do risky behaviour as well, often during class, and both groups do it physical and socially.

With differences that are quantifiable, I believe these needs can be supported in the classroom with differentiated lessons and delivery. With the other points, there are simply too many contradictions to the rule to allow these trends to be guiding forces in large educational reform.

The author finishes with some questions, including these two, which I'll answer from my point of view.

Should boys and girls be subjected to the same set of discipline codes and procedures?

Yes, as we all should (and often do) in the rest of the world.

Biggest question of all, should boys and girls be educated in the same school?

Yes, if a family should choose it and they should have the right to decide this.

I think some boys and some girls would be suited to gendered education, but not all, and possibly not for their entire education. Consider this:

If men are so different to me, how would an "exclusive girls' education" prepare me to understand, work and live with them?
How many wonderful, enriching friendships would I miss if I couldn't meet all those male people?
How would a boys' school counterbalance the 'boys will be boys' excuses in the more damaging behaviours in our society. There are men who have an overblown sense of entitlement and are dysfunctional towards women**; how will a boys' education adequately and respectfully support equity and equality across the genders when one is absent and (possibly) silenced? How would an exclusive girls' education address this issue?
How would gendered education, which is basing itself on generally shared tendencies, cater for and support intersex or transgender students?

The author's ultimate suggestion is to seriously consider an education system that is completely single-sex (possibly with boys and girls classes within a co-ed campus, but this is me hoping). Shall I expect, then, a suitably divided society in the future? Shall I expect blog posts on "We need schools for slightly effeminate boys who may or may not be gay"?

There are differences between girls and boys, but there is an significant overlap in that Venn diagram. I'm not suggesting we ignore the needs of boys or the needs of girls; I am suggesting that to treat them all as though they're two distinct and separate groups is risky for their education and disrespectful to their individuality.

*I teach 10-12 year olds in a co-ed government school in eastern Melbourne, Australia. We have a thriving and competitive sport program and a number of extension opportunities for academically strong students. On average the cohort performs at or above standard against our curriculum and on most competition tests. The community is very culturally diverse with families coming from Angelo-Saxon Australian, Indian, Chinese and many other countries. Last year I have 11 different languages spoken at home, this year, seven. Our families would be considered affluent, with a strong work ethic and value for education. We have girls teams for both soccer and Australian Rules Football.

** Need I mention the challenges presented in male sports?

*** Any tips? I've made an effort to keep the gendered language neutral but I'm unpractised - any advice welcome.

Choice and Other Tricks.

2011-08-21T14:45:00.007+10:00

I watched Love and Other Drugs today, a second time. I cried again, because when the script gets sparse we're good at filling in all the words that you think they're thinking, creating the perfect script to make you weep. Also, there's lots of really good sex. By which I mean, they don't judge the sex, everyone's consenting, and it looks good. (They're such a handsome couple, with great chemistry, which helps :) )

At the end the guy's voice internal-monologues the epilogue and ties up ends.

And that's when I got frustrated - I realised I've been describing this as a story about two people, a woman who has a degenerative illness and doesn't want to watch someone look after her, and a guy with questionable self-esteem and a competitive, but good, nature.
But it's not: it's a story about him. And I realised that because it's his voice that finishes the story, which I thought was pretty crappy. The story in itself is as much about Maggie accepting an option as it is about Jamie accepting her future - they're both choose love over difficultly. They could've had both of them monologue together or alternating.

But then, really, they couldn't. We meet his family, his brother, his workmates, his workplace more often, his dilemmas. Yet she's the one dealing with the biggest thing in his life - being someone with Parkinson's.
And he's a hero for staying. She has no option to be a hero - coping alone looks tough but is not sensible; accepting help is sensible, but not 'tough' unless its facing-up-to-my-fear-of-helplessness. Either way, she has no choice, she just has to deal.
There is one point where Maggie makes a choice about him when she pushes him away. (This seems to be pretty much the only kind of choice she can make - its an extension of what power she showed when she clearly defined the relationship in its beginning: "This is escapism sex; enjoy!") The break-up is based on something like "You need to know that I'll get better for you to love me." They see a few other people, he drives after her bus and changes her mind. He gets to choose. The guys gets to choose, again.
But all of this is beside the point when spotting who's story this is. The screen time his life gets, over hers, is all it takes in this film.

My frustration is this: All I need was to see enough of her story to be under the impression that it was a story about them, not him. That's all it took - a bit of Maggie-solo screen time - for me to think it was her story too. But, on reflection, I think that those scenes (less maybe one, at a stretch) really served to show us what Jamie would be looking forward to, how awful it is, how hard it is, how much strength he'd need.

I suspect that this has been presented as a two-person story, not least because publicity has been with both leads (mostly) due to their great (thoroughly deserved) appeal. But I don't think its 'their story' at all, and I wonder if the leads thought it was a 'their story' too.

Customer Freaking Service

2011-06-29T20:51:00.008+10:00

This, people, is customer service...

You are now chatting with *Customer Service Rep* (Returns & Exchanges)

CSR: hi there
Me: Hello!
CSR: how can I help?
Me: I ordered a tea set and it arrived with damages.
Me: Do you do replacements or refunds? What's the best thing to do next?
CSR: oh no!
Me: I know! It's cute as too.
CSR: what is the order number?
Me: *typed in number here*
CSR: I can look into what I can do for you
Me: That would be great! I was half way through writing up a ticket and attaching photos, but wasn't sure if it was the right way to do it.
CSR: what/how was it damaged?
Me: A cup was broken, one had lost a handle, the spout of the pot broke off, a saucer was broken and another was chipped.
CSR: wow!
CSR: I'm so sorry
Me: It's ok. It's just that it's not really a 'set' any more...
CSR: would you like me to try to get another set out to you? or would you like a refund?
Me: I would like a replacement set, at best (a refund is my second pref), but I'm wondering about the packaging.
Me: I know it travelled a long way but the boxes - both the delivery box and the set box - don't look very beat up. I'm wondering if there's any point in replacing the set if the product packaging doesn't adequately protect the new one any...
Me: Would you like any photos?
CSR: no, it's ok
CSR: I will go ahead request a new one sent to you.
Me: That would be fantastic!
Me: Is there anything you need me to do for that to happen?
CSR: nope. I will take care of it
CSR: Also, don't worry about sending back the broken set.
Me: Really?! That's it? There's nothing I need to fill out or email?
CSR: you can discard of the damaged pieces, and keep the unbroken ones
CSR: :)
CSR: no, I can handle it from here.
CSR: I don't want to cause you anymore trouble
Me: Far out. That's fantastic!! Thank you so much! That's some of the best customer service I've ever experienced :D
CSR: Thanks!
CSR: If you need anything else, please let me know.
Me: Shall do! Thank you!

In twenty minutes. You rock ModCloth. Rock on.

--------------------------

Update: I received the next set in very good time. Parts of it were broken but I had enough for a full set. Delight!!

Ha-ha - Love this!

2011-04-23T19:42:00.002+10:00

So, when I heard that baby cry, I thought to myself, See what you are not missing out on? High up in my castle on Planet Smart Single Lady. Well, guess who’s the sucker here? Me. Because even though I don’t have the baby, and all the benefits of having the baby (including, but not limited to, a deep, emotional connection with another human being, the joy of parenting, plus a brand new stream of pictures to post to Facebook), I am still living with the crying baby.

From babble, via feministe.

Why can't I lie?

2011-04-20T21:22:00.005+10:00

Oh, don't worry - I don't presume myself to be some noble saint who cannot utter a fib. I'm not going through some voodoo honesty spell.
I do lie, but its useless lying. It's to embellish stories, or to make things sound better. Occasionally I lie to get my own way, or to make myself seem less wrong. I'm pretty sure I keep those lies to errors that affect only me* and to protect my pride. I'm usually afraid of being wrong.

But there is a kind of lying that I haven't mastered and I am shitty with myself for it. I think it's the most useful - nay, benevolent & generous - kind of lying there is. Why I, with my gloriously paltry drama background, cannot master this, a gift of friendship and affection, is beyond me.

Sometimes, I can't lie to be nice.

Don't get me wrong - I don't think I'm heartless - I can easily, willingly, happily, without any effort at all, find positive or complimentary things to say about gifts, situations, and such, or ask relevant questions about the topic at hand to show I'm listening and I care. None of that is lying. I laugh, smile, nod etc to politely play may part in a conversation. That's 99.5% of the time. Of course, I always say thank you, ask how people are - I don't think I'm dysfunctional or challenged in regular everyday interactions.

But there are a few times when I find it really hard to simply look pleased when I'm not. There's a part of my brain that says "That just isn't true. You don't like this gift. It's well made, and alright quality, and it's [insert good quality here] - say those things, remember the thought counts - but don't say you love it or like it because, right now, that's a lie and lying is wrong."
Now, I think I might be getting better at this. (Does this mean I'm regularly getting not-very-good gifts? Hmm...) When I get buttons made of stone, quirky dust-catchers, or something that actually suits the buyer more than the receiver, I can usually make a generic positive sound that says "You thought of me/my birthday when you were far away! I love that! How lovely!" (which I truly mean) while a little teeny part of my brain says "This made you think of me?"

Similarly, sometimes I fail to convincingly keep eye contact, raise eyebrows or nod when people tell stories. This happens when I'm thinking "This is not a nice/interesting/funny story", "This isn't something I want or am supposed to hear" or "This sounds untrue."
I tend to do this mostly in the company of people I've spent too much time with, or people I don't respect (which I suppose means I'm not worried if they're put out for a while).
I'm sure I've seen people do this, or something like it, to me. My first thought is "I'm talking about myself too much again." (No! Really? Gee, Blogger, that's uncharacteristic!) But really, it could be anything - they're thinking of something else, something they've forgotten, who knows. I suppose, the people I do this to might assume the same thing, but I could make it so they needn't have to imagine excuses.

But this is all I'd need to do:

say "Wow! I love it! Thank you so much!"
nod or raise my eyebrows and smile
occasionally say 'Huh!"

Pretty simple, yes?**

And I would be a much nicer, although slightly less honest, person.

----------------
Stay tuned for my next post: "Why am I neurotic? One woman's suspicion that she's having normal social interactions"
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* And possibly my husband. For instance, "I meant to do that this morning!" (no, completely forgot, but I don't care to be in trouble for that thanks) or I'll make up a reason that didn't exist at the time. I think it's because I think he's really smart, and I don't want him to think I've done something silly, which is stupid because people should be allowed to forget and make mistakes sometimes. I'm usually very defensive if he is patronising or jokey about me being 'dumb'. He's not being mean, just not-very-funny at a not-very-good time i.e. when I'm not in the goddam crapping mood.

** God willing, matching the response with an appropriate situation. Wouldn't be opening a present and saying "Huh!" too often... oh, God, I hope I haven't....

Ire is annoyered.

2011-04-20T20:23:00.004+10:00

Recruitment processes seem to suck.*

When I was shifting from uni to (hopefully) a classroom teaching job, I sent out 48 applications, got three interviews and one job offer. The job offer came from an interview that was a kick-on from the second interview. Teaching job applications are, to say the least, overwhelming - 5 to 8 questions that required a page-long response each. (Can anyone tell me what other industry does this? Having to read those is a reason I'll probably never aspire to principal-ship. )
I wondered: how on earth can you tell from these convoluted responses**, a few referees and AN interview whether I'm a good teacher, or even a teacher with potential? If I were them, I would put an awful lot of weight on the referees contribution, and hope that the applicant had used people who were not nuts. Even now, when people say "Oh, but you're a great teacher?" I think, how would you know? You've never seen me teach. Clearly, "no blood or tears" = I know what I'm doing. :
I've seen recruitment happen in an office environment, too, where resumes are pretty easy to interpret. Those gloriously overblown positions like Documentation Manager (I file stuff) and Public Liaison Officer (receptionist). Everyone knows what they mean. Really, all that's left is to find out if they're a complete odd-bod via an interview.
Strangely enough, I used to LOVE interviews. LOVE love loved them. Not sure why. I can only assume I thought I was awesome. (Was I the odd-bod?)
But then, I'm probably known as a somewhat extroverted person - not all the time, but I can be - and I did to a drama degree so I suppose I have what would be called a "flexible demeanor".

Now. My gripe.
Some of my friends are in IT - programmers, engineers, nerds. (I consider myself a nerd with pride! But its prolly only coz I like to think I know obscure, lofty, superior crap.)
These are people who are stereotypically known as 'socially challenged', especially if you consider current telly types from shows like The Big Bang Theory.
I suspect, too, that of all the careers that people with any ASD or even seem simply 'quirky' or eccentric, some sciences/IT would seem very attractive to them. (I'm basing this completely and solely on the high ratio of eccentric vs non-eccentric scientists I know.)
I know a few cases of very good scientists who aren't the greatest socialisers, or sometimes not-that-excellent at representing/promoting themselves. I know of an excellent programmer who needs specific behavioural support from his workmates, but he's one of the most effective and skilled engineers in the business. The benefits completely outweigh the challenges.

So, what I want to know is this: when you start incorporating Human Resources into recruitment processes - groups who aren't going to work with these employees, won't see them day-to-day, and don't have to manage these employees - what kind of person to they expect to see? What characteristics do they want to hire? What share do they have in these choices?

For the few people I know who are job hunting in science and IT fields, I trust their searches continue for good reasons. I trust they're missing out because genuinely better applicants were successful. But that those decisions had better be coming from the recruiting scientists, and not the freaking HR department.

* I write this as a completely biased, emotional stakeholder in a particular aspect of this process, as well as someone who's experienced it from the pointy end, and a little from the fat end.
** I have to say, I know people who blatantly copy/pasted other people's responses and for lots of reasons: a lack of time, a lack of respect for the process, being overwhelmed by the questions, and/or being unable to answer them.

Again!

2010-10-10T14:28:00.003+11:00

Once again, a gut feeling articulated. Not so much what I wish I'd been able to say, with my own attitudes. The stereotype of some skanky woman who puts herself first at the wrong time is, like all stereotypes, very loosely based in truth, if at all. And yet my own discomfort is based on a worst-case-scenario that is extremely unlikely. I have been assuming I know best, when in truth, as a woman whose never been pregnant, I know nothing.

The bottom line about abortion is this. Do you trust women to make their own moral judgments? If you are anti-abortion, then no. You do not. You have an absolute moral position that you don't trust anyone to question, and therefore you think that abortion should be illegal. But the second you start making exceptions for rape or incest, you are indicating that your moral position is not absolute. That moral judgment is involved. And that right there is where I start to get angry and frustrated, because unless you have an absolute position that all human life (arguably, all life period, but that isn't the argument I'm engaging with right now) are equally valuable (in which case, no exceptions for the death penalty, and I expect you to agonize over women who die trying to abort, and I also expect you to work your ass off making this a more just world in which women don't have to choose abortions, but this is also not the argument I'm engaging right now), then there is no ground whatsoever for saying that there should be laws or limitations on abortion other than that you do not trust women. I am completely serious about this.

http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2005/04/do-you-trust-women.html

That's how I'd define feminism

2010-09-28T20:40:00.005+10:00

Here’s how I define feminism. It’s the belief that nobody should be denied dignity, respect or opportunities – personal or professional, in public or at home, as a citizen or in relationships – solely because of their gender. If you believe this, and you don’t like seeing people disrespected or disempowered because of their gender, you’re a feminist. That’s it. That’s the only rule. The only qualifier.

Thank you Mel Campbell
http://thedawnchorus.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/feeling-assailed-by-feminism/

trackback

Catalyst?

2010-08-22T12:16:00.003+10:00

This, delivered via Bluemilk (you are such a star):

7. Motherhood involves sacrifice, how do you reconcile that with being a feminist?
Everything involves sacrifice. I don’t buy into the notion that anyone can have it all in any context. Being in a relationship involves sacrifice, being a child or a sibling or a friend involves sacrifice, just being a person involves sacrifice at some point.

For a long time now I've been waiting for the want of motherhood, suspecting that I will never get clucky until I am a mother, and that if I don't want to be elderly and childless then I'll just have to get on with it, current reluctance be damned (romantic, no?).
But a large part of my hesitation is selfish - what will I be forced to give up for this? Will I resent myself for it? And what if it sucks, or I suck at it? What if its harder than I ever imagined? (And I have a good imagination for melancholy.)
Then I read this and realised I forgot to think about the road so far; it hasn't been perfect*, and I have given up many things and been OK, often happy. I've also forgotten to look at what's between the parents and their children, rather than just at their trials and challenges.

*Forget for a moment the privilege I live in and how perfect that is in the greater scale of things.

Chain and balls

2010-05-15T12:38:00.005+10:00

It's been ages (again) since I posted here. From my analytics, no one visits my site unless they're looking for a craft something-or-other, so I'm going to care a little less about the high-brow-ness of my thoughts, but I am going to use this for what it was intended - putting my thoughts away so I can move on. Here goes.

At work we've been doing emotional intelligence analysis for some of the staff. I've found that although I'm great at being aware of my feelings, and the feelings of others, I'm not too great at managing my own emotions. Turns out EI includes management of your and others' feelings. Hmph.
So, here's what I've noticed.

Yesterday we competed against another school for sport and their supervising teacher was a grad, straight out of uni, loud, enthusiastic, quick with the mouth; in short, he had vitality. And that's when I realised my own vitality is missing.

In my first year out of uni I expected to suck at teaching; I expected mistakes, stuff-ups, faux pas, rushed preparations, last-minute efforts, messy lessons and grumpy parents. I was loopy as all get out, thrilled to have my own group. I clearly recall looking at the class in my first week and seeing "What the hell?" faces amongst them, just because I was so off-the-graph-happy. It was awesome. I know our discussions went off on tangents a lot, and there was a lot of time lost to 'chats', but on the whole, it was a good year. In fact, my best so far. We were happy, enthusiastic, generous, with a commitment to being proud of our work, looking after our people and being a community.

Last year, this happened in a similar way, but a student from my first group passed away over the holidays and a grey wash was laid over my first term. It rattled me and I started talking less and started watching when I worried and when I didn't. A few people noticed. I got better over the year, but my non-work time at home became a noted effort in creating a work/life balance, so much so that it actually wasn't working - I was thinking about work while I wasn't doing it. Fail. I started to list my oversights and failures and ignoring my successes.

This year I have a really different group. In these last few weeks I've noticed my headspace is crowded with the feeling of failure and commotion. About a third of the class talk when they shouldn't, and I have one student with ADD (and possibly ODD and ASD) who influences the behaviour of others in that my tolerance for his problems sometimes leads them to think that they can get away with such behaviour too. His constant interruptions, and the ripple effect they have with other talkative types, means I spend a lot of time in behaviour management mode. These kids are quite immature compared to the rest of the class. They display behaviours like unaccountability, arrogance, evasion, lying, back-chat, sooking and generally acting like they're a year younger than they should be. (Or, they have an over-blown sense of entitlement - I way-too-casually call it "Little Prince syndrome". Eeer, yes, they're all boys.) (For the record, I have a discipline system that is working: after one warning, most of them pull their heads in, but they all get one warning every block, which is concerning. And sometimes 7 people talk at once, which is hard to respond to when one of them has a legitimate contribution.)

I notice too, that frustration happens when people are surprised - this thing wasn't expected, it interrupted them, and they're annoyed. Any one of these kids will interrupt a short instructional talk (I keep them quick on purpose) with a random, completely unrelated question or thought and its really hard to not immediately think What the crap, child? What is your head doing? Half the time, its an attention seeking comment: "Look how cute I am! I'm asking a dopey question and its cute and funny!" Why do I expect it isn't going to happen? Because, at this age, it shouldn't. I've been teaching long enough to know that they should be able to manage their mouths by 10-11 years old, unless they have an undiagnosed impulse management disorder.

It's also very hard to drop grumpiness, and hard to not feel it when you know they know what the expectations are*. With 4-7 kids who need to hear the disappointment in your voice, or believe your threats, the others don't deserve the same grump, and this has been tricky to manage and taxing. I think this has happened because the feelings (the care and concern) I have for the misbehaviour is what I think about when I manage the behaviour, and those things don't have to happen at the same time. I don't want to go too much into my classroom management strategies, or be specific with anecdotes of behaviours, but this is my end point at the moment: I have reigned in my enthusiasm and happiness because this portion of the class gets too excited too quickly, and its getting me down. I didn't spot that this would be a consequence of such a group and didn't prepare to redirect my enthusiasm for teaching into other opportunities.

So this is what I'm going to try for: I'm going to be happy and optimistic, like I used to be, and let the misbehaviour be managed with the system I have in place, but not think or feel anything about it when its happening. Those who are good can enjoy the warmth of my good mood, those who aren't can feel the wrath at recess or lunch.

Why haven't I done this before? Because I'm still inexperienced, or I am at least with this sort of problem. I also don't wear much of a mask in the classroom so my emotions are bare. (In fact, the students get my best - I often don't chat much in the staffroom because I'm beat from all the talking during student conferences and teaching.) A few of my students, including my ADD student, are also random with their empathy and work ethic, so my hope and emotional investment in them (particularly the way I negotiate my ADD kid's friendships and work habits) is often crapped on or ignored, which feels a little abusive but I don't yet know how much they can help it. (He's also a very young character, so may not get how he affects other people around him. That's not to say that I look to him to validate what I do - I'm really looking for signs of progress and self-efficacy and they are small and rare.)

What's amazing is that this is all classroom management - it's the weather of our room. If it isn't right then people don't learn at their best. They're distracted, or threatened, or depressed, or negative and they can think with a clear head about what's in front of them. I'm not going to get their best if I don't figure this out. And it comes before effective assessment, for both planning and learning, or lesson planning, or task planning, because it affects things like student groupings, seating, being able to working independently and student autonomy.

So, I'm going to do my best to figure myself out first, so I can think straight, and protect my well being. I'm going to try to put aside the things I can't change: the cyclical testing and how it can reveal nothing or maybe something; the perpetual interruptions to our weekly programs and losing any sense of constancy; the units or lessons I just cannot fit into the time I have; the kids who may not care; the parents who may not care; the homework that I prepare so carefully but it lost/forgotten/wrecked; the rudeness, spite, defiance or immaturity I experience each day**. I'm going to try to get back to being happy to be at school;

being grateful that I do have sweet, funny, committed, generous people in my room;
remembering why I was told by people how glad they were that I was going to be a teacher;
get back on top of my pragmatism and confidence;
stop trying to be so freaking perfect.

Remember:

Dumber people than me have taught - heck, they taught me! - and students turn out OK;
My students do learn & improve;
My students are happy;
I am not the only thing that influences their success, even in this period of time;
Their behaviour is not all about me;
I may not be as good as some of my colleagues, but I'm not that bad either;
I still have my job, I still have kids who make me gifts and visit me from previous years, and it must mean something.

* Seriously, we have talks about what respect looks like, what would be exemplary behaviour for a Year 6 student, and what reasonable expectations are. Can this be achieved in our room? (Yes! they say.) Are my consequences unreasonable - have you had difference consequences in the past that you'd prefer? (No, these are fair! they reply.) What attitudes and behaviours will we commit ourselves to? (These ones, they're ideal! they profess.) ugh.
** Previously, I knew about these things, and might have been annoyed, but they didn't get me down. Now they're part of the raft that I growl about. Ironically, I will spend this weekend writing reports, the bulk of this dedicated to page-long comments for parents, many of whom will most likely not read them due to either ESL problems or only caring about the scores. Of which there are 33 per student. Way too many for one teacher. Tra-laa!

Things I wish I'd said

2010-02-02T20:31:00.002+11:00

So there is a lot to be discussed in relation to the ’sexual revolution’ and women: the slut/stud dichotomy, ’slut shaming’, the right to say ‘no’ – at *any* point, and have *that* be fully respected and deferred to, as well as yes, a respect for women FULL STOP, not JUST a respect for their desires and wishes when it happens to coincide with a particular male wish that she get on her knees and enjoy it. I don’t wish to be put in the same camp as Sam here – I’m no crusader for the ‘Good women bake cookies and keep their knees TOGETHER’ camp: I want a respect for women who like it vanilla and a respect for women who like it kinked to the hilt, respect for women enough to know that they all might like it in all kinds of ways/not at all depending on time/context/various considerations, respect for women enough to know that sexual desires and sex acts *do not define them as a type of person*, respect for women monogamous and poly, single and into casual sex, I want respect for women in the sex industry, and for women who don’t like sex at all at all ever, who consider themselves asexual and I want respect for gay/bi/trans* women, I want respect for rights to choose to *be* sexual at any given time and to choose *not* to be sexual/sexualised at any given time.

From this excellent person who actually does blog when she feels like I rant.
I just yell at my living room and feel hopeless.

Cows with guns

2010-02-01T19:48:00.002+11:00

In the print version of this article the Herald-Sun used a heading that called rural women cows. It didn't actually use the phrase 'they are cows' but it did refer to them being in "pastures too green" or something similar. I wish to God I could recall the exact phrase, but I, and many of my colleagues, were incensed, so I know it was bad, and so should they.

There were 3879 participants, which includes both rural and metro women, so let's estimate that about 1900 or so were rural citizens. Shall we ponder, for a moment, how small a sample that group is... Let's be generous and say only 20% of Victorians live in rural areas (that's, with generosity, 800,000.) then half of that being females and then maybe half again being the age group they're talking about... 200,000 women? vs less than 4000 sampled? Good survey.

But anyway, back to the HS. Do they have Andrew Bolt do their headings too?

You know what...?

2009-11-17T23:01:00.005+11:00

I think it's been a hard year.

It's late, and I should be in bed. I seem to be using report writing seasons to semi-annually update things here. If none of my 'friends' will interrupt me then, darn it, I'll just have to procrastinate myself...

One of the reasons I haven't posted much is because I haven't been very happy. That is to say, I haven't been categorically 'unhappy' as such, just not my usual bubbly self, and it's for a range of reasons I think.

The wedding, although wonderful and awesome and perfect and ended with me married to the right guy (as promised), was followed by something of a slump. Twelve months of talking about this massive party and then a week of honeymoon to find something else to say... well, it got a bit quiet afterward. And 13 years of going-out with someone actually doesn't prepare you for being married to them. But I think I'm finally getting my groove as a wife and becoming more and more delighted that he's my husband.

When school started this year I learned that a student of mine from last year had passed away over the holidays. It was completely unexpected, and I found out in an unexpected way. Her funeral, where I gave a eulogy and last talked with her mum, was hard and gave my first term (at the least) a grey stain that was hard to shake. She had just begun to figure out that she was going to be fine the way she was; that the way she was, was awesome and loved, and she was going to be pretty cool. Her Christmas card to me said "You taught me that I'm fine the way I am" I thought "Well, that's a success. I did ok there." So I was fairly miffed that I wouldn't get to see that particular kid from my first ever class grow up and be awesome.

And then it turns out that my second year hasn't been as easier as I'd hoped. I should have been more careful to extend my self-forgiveness all the way through my graduate years, not just the first one. Unfulfilled high expectations of myself have just left me frustrated and disappointed and, after a kick in the shins from the funeral, its been pretty grindy.

So my update is more a series of reasons for why I've not been updating.
I have, however, been reading lots of awesome blogs and wishing I'd been enthusiastic/time-rich enough to try cooking up an articulate contribution to these great discussions about sexism on the Footy show, league tables for schools, rape culture and misconceptions, bogus feminist spokespeople and a rainbow of other fantastic commentary that's probably gone unread by the wrong people.
I must say, I do try my best to keep an equalitist voice in my classroom. It's surprisingly hard, considering our school is so sports orientated and a few key male teachers in our school are rather 'blokey' - which has its pros and cons. The girls in my room are very good at maintaining feminist/equalitist points of view and voices, but the boys aren't so good and have been taking their cue form other poorly informed males. This is particularly apparent when the boys say something inflammatory (you know, some dopey joke about women drivers or something), clearly to get a rise out of the girls, and the girls can't explain why its so frustratingly infuriating. (I challenge feminist/equalitist to explain that response in one sentence... In the meantime, I'm am presenting an articulate, somewhat formidable, respectable and feminist to them for a year, so that's something.)
My main hurdle is that, although I'm good friends with these guys, now they're perpetually cautious around me with their stories and jokes (or purposefully not), yet they have no idea how undereducated they are about feminism or how sexist they are. Poor chaps. At least they were able to have a chuckle with me when I noted this:

Blokey humour has helped to boost its ratings, but Newman goes over the top when audiences appear to be dropping off. (HS, 17/11/09)

The HS suggests that Newman, a man educated in the old school system, apparently shouldn't bother to (or isn't able to) call on his morals or ethics to gauge the appropriateness of his behaviour, nor should anyone else try to mend the error of these ways: they should rely on ratings. Yes, it's the ratings that will tell you the true quality of a joke, and whether you've gone 'over the top'. Never mind if you've been pointing at the top for years.
Almost HS, but you have some Equal Opp. training to go yet.

Mrs WoozleWazzle

2009-06-06T11:27:00.004+10:00

I got married. It was awesome. It was wonderful. I didn't cry - I was delighted. Everyone looked great. The venue looked great. He looked great and was very happy. Barely a single mishap. The honeymoon was really relaxing and too short. It was all divine.

I haven't changed my name, but I've noticed a lot of my students are now called me Mrs Woozlewazzle instead of Miss Woozlewazzle. Aaaw! Other things I have noticed:

My signature is much less necessary now that I'm Mr + wife
No one asks how long we've been together anymore.

I have many things to say about both matters but won't because I'm too busy.

Talented man...

2009-01-23T09:29:00.000+11:00

...apparently

So this is what the future looks like...

2009-01-14T13:56:00.008+11:00

For a few days now I've been thinking that I should be back on here updating something, but I assumed that no one was watching. And then I got this lovely comment from angry-man and though "Aaw. Someone cares."
I read back over that post and thought that I could very well be read as someone who support strip shows (sorry, did I mention the theme of that commented-upon-post?). Little things in my story - such as us dancing up the back of the venue, away from the function, during the end of the show - didn't indicate enough how much I'd disengaged from the whole thing. ...hmm.
No, I'm not okay with them. Well, I'm torn. I hate, hate, hate the idea of someone being objectified or valued for their appearance/gender above who they are, and I'm practically violent about people doing it to me. But I know that people do it to others and themselves (and encourage it in some cases) and I suspect that that practice will always be around. If people are informed and consenting, well, who am I to limit them?
They don't attract me. I won't promote them. I won't go to another, and I won't have such a thing for my Hen's/Kitchen tea. In fact I don't want any sex-related item anywhere near my pre-wedding celebrations. But what's done is done, and I went to my friend's Hen's night with the intention of helping make a happy time, regardless of what was organised for us. I don't think there much else I can say about this.

So, for the record, in case anyone's listening, here is a calmer, hopefully more articulate post than I have recently provided.

I finished my last semester in a much more organised and sensible fashion than Semester 1. I got my reports done with much more calm, although my frustration with the reporting program and the obscure curriculum elements hasn't changed too much. I didn't think I would cry when they all went off to high school but I did a little in the end - I did have an excellent collection of people. I found out I'll be at the same school and grade next year, which I'm taking as a compliment. Better still I'll have 24 students instead of 30! What will I do with myself?!
I've become a fully registered teacher and had an excellent interview with our Assistant Principals - which is part of the registration process. My mentor was awesome and I'm generally looking forward to next year, except I will miss these holidays (but for the heat).
Most of these holidays will be spent preparing for the school year and preparing for our wedding in April. Which is a very strange process...

This industry of weddings is fascinating, frustrating, wonderful, absurd and grotesque. I'm trying not to engage with it too much, because it will be behind me soon enough, and I don't want to spend my energy angsting over something this massively beyond little ol' me.

First. Getting the venue wasn't too hard, porbably a day or so of driving looking and talking, and it turned out that, when we figured out what we wanted, it existed.

Second. When you try on a wedding dress its all about YOU, which is hard to get used to. I have a conspiracy theory that if it looks like you're going to buy that dress, any spare employees of the store will gather nearby and reverentially say "Oh yes, oh that is beautiful on her. Won't she look lovely, Angela? Beautiful". When you sit in it - to check that you can sit in it - they bring a mirror so you can see what you look like when you sit in it.

Third, the celebrant. This was relatively smooth and I'm actually looking forward to this part of it - the talking, explaining, expressing the whys of it all. I'm expecting it will be confronting and I'm up for it.

And then. The rest if it. Besides the expense, it's the amazing performance of it. The cake, the flowers, the dresses, my dress, their suits, the music, the photos, the venue options, the colours you choose, the colour range you could choose, the shoes, the hair, the make-up, the stationery (oh my word its a massive part of it), the honeymoon, and everyone you're related to who has a stake in it... I'm just trying to keep it fun, and remember that the wedding is not as important as the marraige.

I've also been taking great pains to try and find a balance in the way I attend to things - not too big, not too much, something I like, that he can stand, that represents both of us, but it doesn't have to be our soul, it can just be nice.
Ironically, this is almost the opposite of what my partner thinks I've been doing, which is a massive amount of research and exploration, in his opinion. But I'm ok with that because it's the way I work - I like to read up and learn a lot (immerse, you might say) and after a while what I want/like/need rises to the top. On the other hand, I want most of this done, tied, wrapped and going by the time we start Term 1, which gives me this week and next week, basically. So yeah, I'm going hammer and tongs.

I'm also deciding what to do about my last name, partly due to this very interesting debate in Blue Milk's household. Fiance says it didn't occur to him that I would change my name: He is officially not fussed about it. Which is comforting because, as much as I'm looking forward to being married, I don't particularly want to change my name. I'm quite attached to mine. And all the tradition, implications of it, are skewed. He's becoming a part of my family as much as I will be a part of his. There's no dowry, no glory box (no puns), no 'white wedding' criteria, and I moved out of home a long time ago... So the justificatoin for me changing my name, well it seems unfair and nonsensical. People ask us what our kids will do when they marry with their already hyphenated name, but at this stage I'm thinking "I don't mind - they'll be adults, they can do as they please, just as I have". I can wait, I suppose, to see if I want to have my maiden name as my professional name and his name when I'm a parent, but it still seems to miss the point... and then someone was all, "well why don't you take your mum's mum's mum's (etc) maiden name? Where woudl it end?" I think I answered with a "I'm going to make a name surname for us both - a blend of the two!" (There must common somewhere.) The main problem is how we'll be announced at the reception. I think we'll just go with first names.

Things I have learned

2008-09-08T22:47:00.004+10:00

Thank you BCIB, you rock my world.
I had an awful gut feeling about this Abortion Bill bruhaha and you've articulated what I haven't had the brain-space or knowledge to say (or possibly the nance to research properly): its a crock. The angst about late-term abortion is completely disproportionate to its presence in society. It would be like the US banning Australians because Phillip Island has drugs. I wish I had enough energy to do something more. Will I have enough energy to provide a diplomatic, amoral response to my students when they ask what its all about during our discussions about democratic processes..? Will I flinch and wonder if their parents understand what's going on...

The energy for this post, however, is fall out from previous whining. I found BCIB's thoughts when hoeing into my feeds and I was sill itchy after lamely nyer-ing at the Melbourne Herald Sun about their inflammatory, misleading, old-white-man title for an article that says no such thing: Too stoned to study. Even the online title - while less rude - isn't even that indicative. Not only that, the article isn't news, isn't cute, isn't new - and it with two supporting articles filled 3/4 of a page in today's paper. Barrel scraping, HS; weak. (I even emailed MediaWatch asking if there's some sort of threshold for article/title relationships. When I'm old, I plan on writing letters about the stamps that are too small for my bad eyes. I practice now.)
Are titles created by another department at the HS? They're two kliks away from bolding all the nouns. Hacks.

No I'm not dead...

2008-08-26T22:37:00.002+10:00

...just teaching. It's a busy job.
Rather than say 'more later' here's a bit now...

I thought most teachers I knew voted against the new agreement but no, they didn't. Hmmm. Disappointing. Although I got a raise - which I could do without BTW - what I have now is an inconvenience: Our curriculum days are ALL prescribed, with three of them using the first three days of Term 1.
Whole staff training would need to happen on one of these prescribed days, rather than a day that suits our school.
Whole staff training that needs a trainer or incursion would also need to be organised for one of these days. Schools will have to compete with each other to getthe trainers for one of these three days. That is, all the government primary schools will have to compete with each other to get someone in this 3-day window. head-desk

Go ing in sa ane

2008-06-15T12:59:00.004+10:00

OK. I've recorded the 37 grades for each of my 29 students. Used way too much deliberation, and was probably too generous.

I've done comments about their achievements, areas for improvmeent and what is coming for 17.3 students.

I've just started to tip over the edge.

On Friday I was giddy with denial about how much I had to do. Yesterday, with only 3 students' comments done, I sat in this chair from 8-6 and again from 8-11 and beat the crap out of another batch. Since I began teaching my brain has been waking me up about 7:30-8am, but today it slacked off and got me up at 9:30 ish. Four hours later - with 11.6 students' comments to go - and I think I can see a teeny tiny sparkle somewhere on the horizon. But its on the otherside of crazy.

Seriously; I'm wiggling in my chair bw each set of comments going "ee elaa, laa, laaa, bup-bummm, mmmm". And there's no escape. I have to sit here till I get this Done. And then I need to proofread the lot before I descend into the kind of nutty that goes with reading screens in poor lighting after daylight.

Tomorrow I'll be giddy with report-writing-freedom and panic from a lack of planning for the coming week.

Go ahead. Tell me how I brought it upon myself.

Progressive Points

2008-06-07T20:00:00.004+10:00

I'm doing reports. See last post.

In the English domain there are three dimensions to assess: Reading, Writing and Speaking & Listening.
In the Communication domain there are two dimensions: Listening, viewing & responding and Presenting...

Guess which English dimension overlaps with both Communication dimensions? I could make a big fat Venn diagram of how LV&R practically doubles-up with the listening elements of L&S and how Presenting doubles up with the speaking elements.
BUT I STILL HAVE TO CAREFULLY CHECK THAT THE STUDENT HAS DEMONSTRATED EACH COMMUNICATION ELEMENT SO I CAN DEFEND IT TO THEIR PARENT IF THEY ASK ABOUT IT.

WHY there isn't more separation bw them I don't know.
Why they don't have a single communication dimension what is only about the bits that don't overlap, I don't know.
And why they don't just rename English as Literacy and consolidate Communication with that, I cannot begin to explain (though I could have a good stab at it).
But it's frikkin shirting me no end.

And while I'm at it, thank you VCAA for requiring Year 5 & 6 teachers to assess against the entire curriculum. It's awesome to have to vouch for all this knowledge and all these skills while safely delivering 29 students to high school. Cheers.

Almost an update

2008-05-11T13:36:00.005+10:00

I've finally caught a cold, after about half the staff at my primary school. It was bound to happen eventually.

So last week, in my 13th week of teaching, I just felt like I was getting traction with my class; just beginning to be able to get my hands around what I was teaching them and being able to identify positive returns.
And then people started talking about reports.
I've got 29 students, and each of them need a mark from me about 33 subject elements (33 dimensions under 13 domains, in the jargon.) If I was sending to post secret it would say something like "I'm scared that I'll have to guess about half of the grades for all my students. I feel sick when I know I'm lying". But I know I'm not alone - we haven't yet addressed some of these things so will properly mark them next semester; some of these things we cannot fit in. (I certainly can't - I'm still figuring out what makes sense to most of my students, with children and teenagers within the mix.)
I suspect it will be years before I can expertly wrangle in all the knowledge they're to receive and the skills I need to observe. Of course, the Dept. has most likely created a framework within which all this would work, but - of course - no school follows a dept. framework; they have their own inquiry schedule or something fancier. And of course my school is going for the IBO, which is a whole other kettle of international fish. (Hopefully, by the time I figure out how to address all this, I'll be good enough at it that I can cope with the chance in curriculum.)

Anyway.

In other news, I got engaged and turned 30.

Must call my mum.

My Anzac Day post

2008-04-25T13:53:00.000+10:00

Those heroes that shed their blood and lost their lives… you are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and the Mehmets where they lie side by side here in this country of ours… You the mothers who sent their sons from far away countries, wipe away your tears. Your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. Having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well.
—Atatürk

My Efforts

2008-02-03T12:40:00.000+11:00

Please, enjoy, vote, comment, bag, etc

moar funny pictures

Another Box Ticked

2008-02-03T11:01:00.000+11:00

I've been to 4 Hen's nights and last night I went to my first with strippers.

Oi.

My first memory is of the Bride and her maids signing the release form. Then of the other dozen Brides and their maids making their way to the aisle seats.

And then they introduced The Premise.
The Premise - which seems to be present in most porn too - is whatever reason they think of to contextualise and justify the need to strip. (Watch as I deftly intellectualise this experience.) Our performance was about these brothers - nay, Princes - who had been kept virginal by their tyrannical father, The King, and were apparently/understandably bursting at the seams. But NOW (oh blessed day) the King had died, and the brothers were FREE! They were making the most of the occasion.
The eldest brother - the New King - did the MCing.

The MC cycled through referring to us as maids, virgins, wenches and goddesses and as a result I was very confused about myself. In the beginning I laughed and laughed - the set up was so painful, with guys walking down the aisles in monk robes, lots of temple images, very Excalibur, and all the guys named The Prince of Lust, The Prince of Temptation, The Prince of Seduction (an impressive title for a virgin) etc. And the MC had a weird Father-of-Robbie-Williams look about him.

But once they got into the dancing, and passed the premise, it was much more fun and easier to stomach. They had the Brides-To-Be up on stage alone or in pairs or fours and would seat them on chairs as they danced around - at one stage asking a few BTB to dance for them. They found the women who had been married longest and asked them to make some penises out of plasticine (one quite promising and the other more like a bowl, which was explained with "It's Italian") There was a guessing game and a fair bit of blindfolding.
Most promising were the referential performances: Dirty Dancing (no lift, mind you), Grease and Sex in the City remakes - even the poor token black man (great dancer) having to do African themed stuff (imaginatively named the 'Prince of Darkness'). Plus some excellent song choices such as Baby Did A Bad Bad thing.
More painful was the (un)surprising Robbie Williams mimed-cover from the MC (who would've thought?) and the 'bathing' at the end. By that stage a friend and I were up the back dancing away and getting the last of the drinks before the venue opened up for regular patrons.

Soon enough I was clapping too.
Come ON! All that dancing for over a hundred women and only two bouncers is pretty keen. And they were clearly nice guys doing the job; very supportive and forgiving when the BTBs or whoever declined or got too nervous. Also, I think I had been desensitised a little by our Bride's paraphernalia*.
All the dancers seemed older than us (although I'm betting a few weren't) which was comforting for some reason, and they showed a good sense of humour about the whole thing, even when the drunken women (not even a BTB!) got herself up on stage and had to be escorted off by the bouncers (who, by the way, were very entertaining to watch as they watched us.)

So we danced away for a few hours afterwards and I didn't feel any dirtier than when I went in.
Well, a little.

-----------------
*One penis shaped whistle; two Hen's Night sashes (one with blinking lights); three penis shaped balloons tied to her waist; one tiara; one headband with two sparkly, flashing penis-and-balls on springs which also had a condom-laden veil attached; and one double-ended dildo (named Ernest & Clive).

When am I ever gunna use this Miss?

2008-01-26T19:09:00.000+11:00

When you become a teacher, it turns out.

My mentor and I are getting 'new' classrooms (new to the school, not the world) and as such we have to set them up for Day 1 using skills someone people may never use after Grade 5. The New Year means we have to divide up the stationery amongst all the Year 5 and 6 classes (insert division, multiplication and tetris (spatial) skills here).
So after the EWBs, shelves, cupboard, filing cabinets, PCs, desks and chairs have all been put in I have to figure out an arrangement that fits all 29 children at a desk and able to see me... (insert tessellation skills here, and a bit of common sense because you have to leave room for them to move their chairs and no back onto anyone).
We even tried rearranging the PC tables into something more conducive to team work - cable length and access are a challenge (measurement and tetris).
And then there's the 'getting people to do things for you" skill: diplomacy, hard to teach.

Otherwise, I'm sorta treading water in these lead-up days. I have the first 2 weeks pretty much mapped out and am extremely grateful that my first week is only 3 days (and should for the next few years :D ). I cannot begin to imagine what I'll teach them in the following month*, but I know the 2nd and 3rd weeks are interrupted with daily swimming anyway, not to mention the Chinese, Art, PE and Performing Arts lessons with other teachers... So my brain has sort of slipped into neutral.
Normally I would be frantic with preparation, making lessons, plans, templates, worksheets, anything to fall back on, but I don't really know what my guys are capable of yet, or what they need... so I'm waiting to see. My stress hsa sunken deep and dormant under naivety, or stupid, or whatever: I think its going to bubble up in about 10 days, with reinforcements, as I begin to have to think of stuff for them to do. But I'm a beginner, and these kids are bright - I'm not bad enough to do any long term damage - so I think I'll be ok in the long run, if not satisfactory. Which I will tattoo on myself somewhere: "I am a competent person"

*which isn't true. I've imagined lots, but I'm not game to commit to it until I've met/measured the class. I don't know if this is normal or sensible.

Nice Find

2008-01-26T11:47:00.001+11:00

Reminds me of the Gnomes' Business Plan...

And I love that - as noted by the sender-innerer - it looks like girl's handwriting. with a heart next to the sex! Aaaw.

From FOUND Magazine

Now I am unstoppable

2008-01-19T13:05:00.000+11:00

Thank you Design Police. More label templates available on the site.

The Intelligence Rainbow

2008-01-17T11:23:00.000+11:00

From the Age letters...

HOW is a potential teacher with an ENTER score of 56 going to have the capacity to teach students who may be capable of an ENTER score of 99?

Pauline Ashton, Maribyrnong

Hmm. Gee Pauline, I suspect it might be the 4 years of tertiary education - and its compulsory professional practice and assessment - that might give your average teacher the edge on your average VCE student.

I'm almost too angry to answer this one. But if Pauline, and the rank of muppets who'll reply in support of this, had half a clue about

ENTER scores, how they're calculated and what they're for, OR
The VCE and what you need to do it; OR
Teaching and what you need to do it,

then they wouldn't even get so far as signing their names on this type of cringe-worthy, forehead smacking, teeth-sucking, gawking stupidity.

On Losing Weight

2008-01-16T10:19:00.000+11:00

I feel I should update those tenacious few who read this blog (Mr Larry Pants, you've been there for me since kindy).

I got a job teaching grade 6 in the eastern suburbs (govt P-6 school). Oh migod. I'm nervous, excited, and nervous: by all accounts it sounds like a school that on par with many private providers - lots of the kids are at least 12 months ahead in maths and literacy, they're keen kids with lots of self efficacy and awareness. The greatest challenge shoudl be keeping them challenged.
My mentor is excellent. And I don't mean "All things considered, she really is quite good". I mean "I feel guilty when I'm in her presence; I should be a better person than this". She's nice, professional, thorough, patient, doesn't say more than is necessary, gets along with everyone (everyone) and seems to epitomise integrity. Already, in almost two days of planning, I feel I've talked too much about stupid or irrelevant things, pointlessly banged my drum, and generally therapied my way through a few conversations. I cringe -Cringe - in recollection.
BUT, if I keep my head on and start acting like someone I'd be proud of, I think I'll have a good year. I've already got a few suggestions in the works and they seem to have been received well. Conversely, everyone is nicer than me, so I'll probably be forgiven.

So yeah, I could worry about getting enough exercise but I don't think it'll be an issue.

In other news, we bought a car. I loves it, even if it is a bit big for my first. Its a 2000 Nissan Pulsar, 4door, 5sp manual, 1.8L with driver airbag, electric side mirrors, manual windows and a CD player (yes, I did the research for this purchase, so am quite well versed in the jargon). AND its the prettiest blue ever!

AND, I'm going to be a bridesmaid for a very sensible bride. The wedding is in November and she's already confirmed the ceremony and reception locations. Buying the dress has been pretty fun (although not actually purchased though) and has provided the perfect example of how you shouldn't let a shop assistant determine if you buy something of not, especially something like a wedding dress. In the following recount, I play the bad cop.
Bride: "Do you know what other colours it comes in?"
Assistant: "No, I'd have to call and find out"
Me: "That'd be good to know please"
We chat, assistant stares.
Assistant: "So, you do want to know about the other colours? I'm going to have to call..."
Pause from us.
Me: "Yes please"
Assistant walks away to make the call.
Me to Bride:"Which part was unreasonable?"
Later...
Me: Do you have a hoopless petticoat we could try with this one?
Assistant: "I think we have one but I don't know where it is."
Pause.
Me: "Would you mind seeing if someone else knows, because I think it'll make a lot of difference."
I mean, really.

Me hairz: an update

2008-01-16T10:09:00.000+11:00

It's about Day 28 of what I'm now calling my detox period. My hair hasn't changed much in the last week or so. My fingers didn't peel for very long at all, so I'm hoping they stay strong through the next transition period: organic shampoo.

This isn't any ordinary shampoo people. It's not even the kind that has 'natural' in the name, like many supermarket shampoo tarts. It's from a proper organic product shop and I found it online in an organic haircare review. And that's the limit of my research into this type of issue.

So bye-bye my strong slightly oily hair; bye-bye slightly longer showers with lots of combing; hello $14 per bottle shampoo and a deep, desperate hope that you're the shampoo for me.

I'm so sick of caring.

Can I survive without shampoo?

2008-01-05T12:06:00.000+11:00

I found this article ages ago and it tweaked my curiosity.

Traditionally I've washed my hair everyday. Too oily, yuck.
Then, sometime last year, I shifted to every 2nd day and my hair seemed to cope with that ok.
Then I changed to 'natural' shampoos on the (persistent) recommendation of my hairdressers. Apparently, supermarket bought shampoos leave a 'film' that 'weighs down' your hair and is essentially 'evil'.

So I started on on expensive 'natural' shampoo and started to get a little acne on my temples and back. oh yey. Seems to happen every time I go to natural products.
Then I changed to a shampoo for oily hair based on , again, hairdresser recommendation.
[Tangent: this is the ONLY shampoo for oily hair I could find. It used to be that there would be an equal amount of shampoos for 'dry', 'normal', 'oily' and 'normal to oily' hair types. Not so these days. Apparently we've all evolved into normal and dry hair types. I suppose they'll blame air conditioning.]

However, I am now at day 16 of my own 'no shampoo' experiment. I have long, fine, dense hair and I haven't shampooed it since Dec 20. Every day I use a fine toothed comb in the shower to wash out dirt and 'encourage' the oil throughout the length of the hair.

Around day 9 we went swimming in the bay - very salty and I had that classic bay-water hair for a few days. Read: salty and not smooth.

Day 11 saw 'stuff' in my comb. I'm not sure if this was fall out from the salt-water swim, as its diminishing now, but it feels like oil/sweat. I'm trying not to get grossed out.

I've carefully scheduled this for my summer holidays, but its so hot I'm not blow drying my hair for anyone. Consequently, I put my hair up to mask the oiliness and it never really dries in the midddle. Also, I'm expecting to be seen by important-people-who-are-still-forming-opinions/impressions-about-me around Monday week, so I need a result/decision soon.

Will my hair turn out like this lucky Briton's?
Well, even when I get sick of this, or it actually balances out (which I'm betting it won't because its only the 'dry haired' people who benefited from the experiment of the article) there are many more fun and interesting ways to avoid shampoo, but none of them describe going more than one day without washing, which cancels out my first objective which was: to have less work. Hmph.

A Uniform Education

2007-12-08T00:01:00.000+11:00

Apparently the Brumby gov't is considering introducing a dress code for teachers, which has been predictably translated into "They want teachers to wear uniforms"
Hmm.

Well, there are a few professions where you usually wear a uniform: Queen's Counsel, Doctors, nurses, etc. They all have respected jobs, although tend to wear their uniforms over their regular clothes ('cept surgeons).
Although most jobs where you have to wear a uniform are not professions per se: They're traditionally trades or services*. There is a school of thought (a ha ha) that teaching is a skill a.k.a trade, so maybe we can find our place in that set... Sooo, lesseeee...

Painters wear white overalls, foresters wear green I think, carpenters wear light brown, the SES wear white, Firemen wear yellow (or black and yellow), ambos wear blue, I assume plumbers wear the regular dark blue, I don't know what sparkies wear. So what does that leave?
I'm thinking... when you graduate education your hood colour is emerald, but that's already taken by foresters. Well, magenta is for the Arts, but currently unclaimed in the rainbow of overalls (and teaching really is an art** too) - so what about a range in that colour? Purple for preschool teachers, Pink for Primary, Scarlet for Secondary and Red for Tertiary. Yarr!! Wiggle me up!
OR How 'bout we just wear our academic robes? Dude!! How much would I love to be teaching plastic-straw construction in that?!! Or Octopus!

OR how about we just stick with the current dress code: dressing professionally and appropriately.
Clean, un-torn clothes that don't show too much cleavage or leg, generally cover your shoulders (out of courtesy for various cultures) and sensible footwear for whatever you're doing.
Duh.

-------------------------
*But then there's this whole other thing that a profession is simply a field where you continuously learn and have a professional collegiate community - There are very few skilled jobs that don't fit that bill these days.
** Mind you, its quite an applied science, with some nursing, social work, law and engineering chucked in.

I'm beginning to twitch...

2007-12-07T16:54:00.000+11:00

I don't know how to feel about this one:

Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement
"All the feminist movement needed to do was bring on someone who had the balls to do something about this glass ceiling business," said McGowan, who quickly closed the 23.5 percent gender wage gap by "making a few calls to the big boys upstairs." "In the world of gender identity and empowered female sexuality, it's all about who you know."
...
"With a charismatic, self-assured guy like Pete pulling the strings, we might even see a female elected president one of these days," said Nathan Roth, an analyst at the Cato Institute. "Finally, the feminist movement has a face that commands respect."

McGowan, however, said he didn't get into the business of women's rights for the praise.

"What these women were able to accomplish with the little manpower they had is very impressive," McGowan said. "I just bring a certain something to the table—I'm not sure what—that gave us that extra little push into complete female independence. I guess it just comes naturally."

Cheers, World. Cheers

My Soul, you has it.

2007-12-04T11:10:00.000+11:00

Strangely enough, the whole process of applying for teaching jobs is at least two posts in itself. I'm torn about my angst with it: Victoria is the only Australian state to not run on an allocation model. That is, in other states and Victoria-of-old you would say "I want to work in the southern metro region" and you could get school anywhere from South Yarra to Seaford. But these days, state school must advertise their positions via Recruitment Online - the clunkiest piece o junk ever - using forms etc. and its all done that way.
My dilemma is choice versus effort.

On the upside, you get to nominate who notices you, and its not the lottery it once was. In theory schools get the most appropriate person for the job and people who are less adept end up doing CRT work or even changing careers (believe me, there are people from my course I'd never have teach my kids). You get to match personality and suitability with a school's needs and community.

However, in applying for a job you have to answer at least 5 "key selection criteria", with not more than a page per answer. As a graduate, particularly a post-graduate student, I had no idea what to put in these responses (they really leave post-grads to figure it out for themselves). They take a lot of work, and you tweak each one for each school. Some schools add a 6th, which is fine because a lot of them specialise in a particular area, or have specialist facilities or needs. Some schools have 14. >:( And unless its a freakin awesome school they can forget it from me. 5 or 6 KSCs should be plenty revealing. It may seem a little whingy to lean on this point, but think of how much time it takes to write a 2000wd essay; now imagine its 3500wds and about yourself; now imagine its the only impression someone get of you. Yeah, its tricky, and that's before you do it a gazzilion times.

Another aspect to this is the contradiction bw the process and the principles currently come from the system itself. As teachers we're encouraged to broaden our teaching style and assessment methods to capture all the ways knowledge can be acquired and demonstrated. For instance, some people get things better with diagrams rather than words, or through movement or song; similarly writers shouldn't be punished for not being particularly strong movers if they can demonstrate their comprehension through other means. I mean, develop the weakness, of course, but don't make life harder. In this application we're being asked to promote ourselves through a wholly written method. You can set up a webpage with animations etc and direct people to it, but they might not read it. At the end of the day it is, in essence, an application for an interview, not a job. And we are supposed to have completed a university degree, not a tafe degree, and so be able to do this sort of process. Then there are parties who stand by teaching as a profession and others proudly call it a trade/skill - this process smacks of 'profession', so I suppose I know where the State stands on that point.

All in all, its a bit spirit crushing, and its going to take a while of "I have a job" to balance out the week of effort and nerves spent getting the job.

On the upside, one 2-year degree later and I have a job. :D

Nothing to do

2007-12-04T10:01:00.000+11:00

I recently read a post from across the world from someone recovering from the bad weather blues. He'd been away from his blog for a while and thought someone might've missed him. He was right. I, on the other hand, have no such welfare issues. I am on the singles shelf of blogland.
But I have hope, so I write today.
Actually, no, I have nothing to do, so I write today. Nothing. Check that: I have ironing, so, you know, nothing.

We got our uni results last week and went out for drinks afterward. The venue was 'ok' but there wasn't enough dancing for me. The most interesting part of the night was when I left that place for another with a friend, found a few boys who were dressed as 70s gym junkies and so couldn't get into the Elephant and Wheelbarrow. Shame! we cried. Double-standards! we declared. And promptly went into the alley to change pants with the boys and dutifully get them in. I focus on the battles of feminism, rather than the war.

In the few days before drinks I'd been helping with a conference, juggling seminars with job interviews and had an offer on the Thursday, so it was a kind of nice when my friend - who had been present when I received the offer - told everyone about my job before I got to drinks on Friday, and before I had accepted the job. That's a lot of people to call, so I chose the job, coz it was neater.

Behold

2007-10-10T19:06:00.000+10:00

The Carlton logo grid. Most likely breaching many copyrights as I type...

Puts a yum into Brum!

2007-10-10T19:02:00.000+10:00

The Tao of John (for David Hicks)

2007-09-18T14:47:00.000+10:00

In order to be strong
Make somebody weak.
To be at the centre of the crowd,
Make somebody as lonely outcast.
To gain extraordinary privilege,
Deny somebody their rights.

Sacrifice a man in the outer world
Keep a man alone and tormented in a cage.
He will mirror the inner man you have sacrificed.
Thus pain will balance pain and end all feeling.
As you have controlled yourself
So you shall control the world.

Leunig - The Age, December 9, 2006

GAD!

2007-07-10T15:25:00.000+10:00

KSC6 Demonstrate an ability to be an active learner who is prepared to participate in the development and improvement of their teaching skills, particularly in the area of learning technologies.

EG! NNh Futhe Frikkin SHHChroist.

a) I've spent the last 2 years doing a teaching degree.

b) I intend to practice the degree through a job, preferably teaching.

c) I use IT in the classroom with blogs, wikis, bridgebuilder, mathletics... ugh,

I hate these teaching applications. Each one seems to be just a bit different to the last, so you can't reuse your answers and I haven't learnt the art of wanking well enough to whip it all out.

Its just such a toss. Can't they just put all the possible KSCs on a form for us to fill out, like say 20 of them, and they can choose8 to read. What's so wrong about that?

So Tie-tie

2007-07-10T12:28:00.000+10:00

When I was a kid - in Grade 4 I can distinctly recall - I would daydream about having beds instead of desks, so that we could snuggle into the perfect temperature while at school. I'm begining to have the same craving now.
The skin around my eyes feels like old omlettes.

It Bekhomes Me Darhlink

2007-07-09T14:34:00.000+10:00

I went over to the Drama Guild at lunch to borrow a script and when I got there I realised that I'd forgoten my membership card.
It turned out I could still borrow, but I asked the guy at the counter if he needed to see any ID to prove I'm who I say I am and he said 'No, I recognise you from Wednesday night's show"

a haw haw... gee

Of course, by the time I got back to my building I realised I was walking down the street in a big white coat, holidng a Big Issue, a soy-vanilla latte and a script set in 1922 England/Italy and thought 'hmm. maybe I should pull my head in...'

Internet Fads Suck

2007-06-28T11:29:00.001+10:00

Yeah I'll join your bloody MySpace . AND your Facebook. But I won't enjoy it.
Well, a little. MySpace is fun for about as long as a new set of Barbie clothes. But I don't really like Barbie, and now I only go there to change the outfit.
Facebook, while a better networking system than Myspace, I think, is not as good as Flickr for photo management. So I won't be posting any there, I think.
the odd thing is that I felt like posting to the MySpace blog portion, and I did, but I think no one on MySpace knows that its there. So no one reads it. And if no-one's going to read my MySpace blog, they may as well not read my blogger blog, so I'm going to stick to this one. I'm even considering reposting what I put in MySpace to this site, so as not to waste potential blog-points. So to speak. (It's no where near as intellectually impressive as this blog though...)
With only 2 and a bit weeks to go till my last semester starts, I've been woefully unemployed since classes finished. All of one day of temp work so far, but have scored a research assistant job at uni, which is lovely. I also have a week at a dance school holiday program. I haven't done it before so I keep swinging from panic (first time! new kids! big groups!) to calm (hello - "holiday program").
I visited the Melbourne Aquarium with my sister's family. I approve. I also enjoyed watching a scuba diver getting harassed by three huge stingrays and a turtle, plus one educational assistant get cornered by my niece. He was only able to interrupt her with "Okay, can I teach you something now?"
Our weather is gloriously wet but I'm still wearing fingerless mittens at the keyboard. I'm trying to knit for charities but getting frustrated at the slow speed of production. The play I'm in opens tonight and I'm not nervous enough, but my time there is split bw a small role and being assistant stage manager.
In short, life feels quiet, but its not.

So, where have I been?

2007-05-05T10:53:00.000+10:00

Away, dammit. Back off.

I haven't really posted since the start of this semester, and for various reasons.
To begin with I had a part-time job, and woe is me, between that and uni, life wasn't interesting enough to find the time to post about anything. It's not like I didn't have anything to ~~complain~~ blog about, it is uni after all, but after the complaining and figuring-out in real life I didn't have the energy to post it.
I just finished the first week of secondary teaching rounds and I have two more to go.

To be honest, I have mixed feelings, mkay?

I'm doing dance, which rocks no end - really, I didn't expect to get a placement with a dance method. So I'm mad chuffed I got one, and with an uber experienced teacher no less. But it stresses me out no end that its VCE and VET dance and I'm unfamiliar with that (we do VCE stuff in 2nd semester). So I read like a librarian about that last week.
I'm not able to see Yr7-10 dance, because there is none, but there is drama and it has the full rainbow of classroom challenges. There's a little bit of streaming in the school so the groups behave really differently, and then there's differences in year levels again, just because of maturity.
What shits me the most is the uni hasn't prepared us for this aspect.

This year we're doing secondary teaching and we have four units each semester - two methods (mine are dance and drama and have provided buckets of practical material), one about curriculum, assessment and reporting (very relevant and applicable) and another called 'Bridging the Gap - Mathematics and Language Education in the Middle Years'. We call it Bridging the Crap. nuf said.
But that won't stop my rant, even if I promised myself I wouldn't mention it on my blog, there's no turning back from this avalanche.

I've had numerous issues with this unit, so I'll try to be direct and quick, lest those of you who are clinging to this post in the grim hope that it gets interesting, sassy or funny actually come-to and nick off. At the risk of committing blogger suicide, those of you not interesting in teacher education, click off now.
The Unit Guide says:

UNIT AIMS
The unit aims are to raise student teachers’:
awareness of the needs of middle years students ;
familiarity with curriculum documents;
proficiency in designing units to meet student needs and curriculum requirements;
skills in developing/selecting appropriate assessment techniques for a variety of purposes; and
capacity to develop a portfolio reflecting their intended focus as a teacher.

Right.

About half way through the unit we defined 'middle years' as years 5 to 9 or 10 (dunno what happens to 10s if they're not in that group...) because people were getting confused about all the grade 6 content.

The second point has been partially addressed through our first assignment - an inquiry based unit - but that itself was flawed for a number of reasons.
We have done nothing to do with:

engaging middle years students or addressing their needs.
designing units addressing 'student needs'
skills in 'developing/selecting appropriate assessment techniques for a variety of purposes' (although that has been touched on in other units) and
the portfolio hasn't been discussed in lectures, tutorials or online, even though its due two weeks after our teaching rounds finish.

Its just so... WEAK
Normally, a uni student might say 'well, stuff it, we'll just do enough to pass and forget the rest of it because its useless', and a lot of us have. This seems to happen because, at about week 6, people run out of puff to complain about or redeem the situation and their priorities overwhelm any good will.
There has been a lot of material for doing maths and English topics, and I'll be gleaning that off the online site for future handiness. I'm expecting that these will be great little nuggets for CRT or maths/eng work in the future, because, as far as I understand, we're supposed to be qual'd for teaching junior high maths/English too.
But the supporting content is too flimsy.

The lecturers don't know what we've done before: so when they gave us a task for designing and Inquiry Unit and we said 'Do you mean a unit about an investigation, or an Inquiry learning unit?' they didn't know what we were talking about and we had to teach them the pedagogy of Inquiry Learning. And we'd already done an equivalent task in the pedagogy unit last year. But they didn't know that.

That Inquiry task asked us to design a unit in our method (dance/drama for me) and identify the maths and English in it. Most middle years levels are in high school, and we spent last year doing primary school levels, so we were keen to get into year7+ areas, but in high-schools the opportunity to use an interdisciplinary unit is slim - you get a few hours each week to do your subject, so you won't water it down with other areas... how will this work be useful in the future in a regular high-school? Its unlikely, so I did yet another something for year 6. Surely a task that asked for, say, an investigation in one high-school level of english and different high-school level of maths would've been more useful for our portfolios?

The semester started with 'What gaps to you want us to cover?" A: Uh, all of them? They clearly don't know what we've learned, and we don't know what we're missing, so how the hell are we going to identify 'the gap'? It's a two year course for the whole of VELS and VCE; the bottleneck's too severe to be leaving up to us to pick and choose topics without any guidance.

EVEN THEN, when someone requested topic about 'engagement in the middle years' (okay, it was me) we got back two articles. And as fantastic as they are, I WANT PEOPLE, NOT ARTICLES. How about a guest lecturer from a school who had middle-years challenges, somewhere where they had absenteeism, or benchmark problems, and what they did on a school-wide level and in the classroom to tackle that? What about some research into the problems and challenges that are common in middle years levels, their learning styles and needs - hello? adolescence? teenage boys? puberty?

In the end, we're post-grads. We've got different demands on us to undergrads. If our uni time isn't worthwhile its not just 'a break', its a waste of our lives: we could be earning money, being with our kids/partners, not paying for childcare, or doing uni work. I know that there are a lot of undergrads who have high standards about their unit content, but its hard to know what's relevant and what's not at that level. And you have a lot more time to get through it all, not just two years for prim and sec teaching.

I do my best to support Deakin - I know all the other tertiary providers suck just as much in their own ways - but this unit bites. They had the same problems last year and they should either adjust it to incorporate classroom management skills (as we have none this semester) and middle-year's issues or scrap it and start again.

I wonder what I'll rant about next semester...

Who am I kidding...?

2007-03-08T12:12:00.000+11:00

I've sent these to nearly everyone I've spoken to since 2001, and really, I should just blog them.

I don't care where they came from - they're from an email ergo they're public.

I just hope I have at least one of these types in my future classes...

------------

The absurdist:

The Vet:

The Literal type:

The l a t e r a l thinker:

The one who's like a knife:

The early developer:

The poet:

and The genius:

People are funny

2007-03-01T15:16:00.000+11:00

The Capable Individuals Who Tabulate the US Census
Spanish guy: She's half Spanish.
Black woman: No, she's black.
Spanish guy: No, she's half Spanish.
Black woman: She ain't no half Spanish. Her name is Juanita. That don't sound Spanish to me.

Go, frolic, fill your day with out-of-context fun...

Overheard in New York

Dad: Give me a chip
Son: No, you'll just shove it all in your mouth like you always do.
Dad: No, I won't. I promise.
Son: Okay, I'll give you a chip if you promise not to yell at Mommy anymore.

Weirdest. Call. Evrr.

2007-02-27T15:58:00.000+11:00

Mobile phone rings.

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello. Can I speak to Mr Boy Friend please?
Me: Uh, no. You've got his girlfriend's phone, and he's not handy at the moment.
Caller: I'm trying to confirm an appointment for 2pm tomorrow?
Me: Ok. Is this his optometrist?
Caller: No. We're not optometrists.
Me: Oh. OK. Well, I don't know of an appointment of his. Where abouts are you?
Caller: 70 Spatular Street Bankstown
Me: Bankstown?
Caller: Yes
Me: In Sydney?
Caller: You're obviously not in Sydney.
Me: No. I'm in Melbourne.
Caller: Right
Me: I don't know that he's unwell.
Caller: We're a psychiatrists...

Skip the chat where we confirm that the booking was made about a month ago for a Boy Friend, but my BF hasn't been in Sydney for over a year...
And that, to the best of my knowledge, he isn't seeing a psychiatrist...

Me: Is this the only number you have?
Caller: Yeah. This is it.
Me: So someone with my boyfriend's name has made an appointment and my mobile is the contact number?
Caller: Yeah.

BF promises that he isn't seeing a psychiatrist. To the best of his knowledge.

fw 1 bk 2

2007-02-26T20:41:00.000+11:00

Me: Guess what we looked at in the Maths/English lecture today?
BF: What?
Me: Turtle!!!
BF: Really? Well, forward 50 right 100 forward 30 left 90 forward 10 help with dinner

-----------
Turtle is the common name for the early Logo program, one of the modern versions being MicroWorld.

It's official: I'm white trash

2007-02-26T15:26:00.000+11:00

Just ask The Age.* Born in Korumburra, primary schooled in Corinella, band practice in Wonthaggi, dating someone from the Benalla district.

It's amazing I'm still alive.

------------

*The web version of the article doesn't seem to include the alphabetical list 'Victoria's 40 most disadvantaged places' as published on the 26 Feb 07 front page.
I won't reproduce it here,but rest assured that, yes, Benalla, Corinella, Korumburra, Wonthaggi, and even pretty Toora are included.

I can't stop picking at it

2007-02-25T16:00:00.000+11:00

Classic examples, which may or may not have been doctored by satirists, include:

Did you know that faith is a uniquely Christian concept? Add to the explanation of what it means, and how it does not exist on other religions.

hmmm. Faith vs Being Sucked In. deep.

Nothing useful has even been built based on the theory of relativity.

except GPS

Sir Isaac Newton was one of the inventors of calculus and the proposed the theory of gravity (It should be noted that gravity, like evolution, is just a theory and has never been proven to be true).

Gravity will now be called Intelligent Falling*.

The Equator is the line that goes around the middle of the Earth. You can see the Equator on a globe, or on some maps too. ...It is a line of latitude. The other kind of line on a map is longitude.

Maps are very minimalist in this community.

Turkey is a kind of bird. Benjamin Franklin thourght that the turkey should be the national bird of America, but really the national bird is the bald eagle. Turkey is a traditional thanksgiving food. It is usually stuffed. (Some vegetarians do not eat turkey at Thanksiving.)
Turkey is also a country in Europe. It was recently part of the European Union, even though they are Muslims mostly.

Mostly.

And after all that stupid, About Conservapedia says:

Conservapedia began in November 2006, as the class project for a World History class of 58 advanced homeschooled and college-bound students meeting in New Jersey. Conservapedia has since grown enormously, including contributors nationwide. Conservapedia already has over one-half the number of entries as the Oxford Dictionary of World History. Conservapedia is rapidly becoming one of the largest and most reliable online educational resources of its kind.

They should never have posted this statement without qualifying the year level of each student's contribution, or indicating in some way why we should forgive such juvenile, underinformed and paltry entries.

I'm as big a fan of a wiki as the next girl, but really... Its a whole lot of wow and provides much fuel for a lazy Sunday rant.

See also my comments on Pharyngula's post.

--------------------
* shout out to slavdude here

Oh, the Gold!

2007-02-25T12:53:00.000+11:00

The juicy, juicy gold!

Welcome to Conservapedia
A conservative encyclopedia you can trust.

Conservapedia has over 3,400 educational, clean and concise entries on historical, scientific, legal, and economic topics, as well as more than 350 lectures and term lists. There have been over 252,000 page views and over 14,800 page edits. Already Conservapedia has become one of the largest user-controlled free encyclopedias on the internet. This site is growing rapidly.

Conservapedia is a much-needed alternative to Wikipedia, which is increasingly anti-Christian and anti-American. On Wikipedia, many of the dates are provided in the anti-Christian "C.E." instead of "A.D.", which Conservapedia uses. Christianity receives no credit for the great advances and discoveries it inspired, such as those of the Renaissance. Read a list of many Examples of Bias in Wikipedia....

http://www.conservapedia.com/Main_Page

They could just call it Denialopedia, or Imnotlisteningopedia. Should you need a more explicit indication of this indignant lunacy:

The Conservapedia Commandments

...
Everything you post must be true and verifiable.
Always cite and give credit to your sources, even if in the public domain.
Edits/new pages must be family-friendly, clean, concise, and without gossip or foul language.
When referencing dates based on the approximate birth of Jesus, give appropriate credit for the basis of the date (B.C. or A.D.). "BCE" and "CE" are unacceptable substitutes because they deny the historical basis. See CE.
As much as is possible, American spelling of words must be used.[1]

http://www.conservapedia.com/The_Conservapedia_Commandments

See Wiki's desciption on Before/Common Era. You'd think they'd be thrilled that the Christian calendar is so generally accepted that there's no need to even refer to Christ or Christianity for people to understand that 1900CE is the same as 1900AD... not that Wikipedia insists on using either. In fact, their Style Guide for Years Decades & Centuries does not state a preference for either and uses BC in its own referencing.

See here for a review that my own posting cannot improve on.

This asshattery was brought to my attention by Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony. (She also gets credit for the term 'asshattery')

Enjoy.

Yet more confusion

2007-02-04T16:36:00.000+11:00

Ah the joy of doing international hobbies.
Below is a table of shorthand instructions for various crochet stitches.
I'm still not sure what the AU half double / US half single is...

Shorthand terms
So Imagine a slipstitch described so: “Pass hook through ch, draw yarn through both sts on hook.”
In shorthand this is described: Insert, pull-thru-2
(as in, insert the hook into ch, and draw yarn through two loops on the hook – the stitch being used for insertion is included as a loop).

Also, where a description might say: “*yarn twice around hook, draw a loop through next ch, draw a loop through first 2 loops on hook, draw a loop through next 2 loops, then another through last 2 loops (thereby competing one long treble st), rep from *” (Patons' Learn to Crochet pamphlet)
In shortcut it would be: Loop twice, insert, pull-thru-2 three times.

Short description of stitch	Australian/European	American
loop	yoh (yarn over hook)	yo (yarn over)
Insert, pull-thru-2	sc/slst (single or slipstitch)	?
??	hdc (half double crochet)	hsc (half single crochet)
Loop, insert, pull-thru-1, pull-thru-3	htr (half treble)	hdc (half double crochet)
Loop, insert, pull-thru-1, pull thru-2 twice	tr (treble)	dc (double crochet)
Loop twice, insert, pull-thru-2 thrice!	dtr (double treble)	tr (treble)
Loop three times, insert, pull-thru-2 four times	trip tr (triple treble)	dtr (double treble)
Loop 5 times, insert, pull-thru-2 six times	quintr (quintuple treble)	silly

Australian stitch instructions taken from Patons Australia (Patons Australia, Brunswick Vic), except quintr stitch from Craft Moods’ Learn to Crochet (ed. Vicki Moodie, ISBN 1 876383 05 9)
Instructions for US stitches taken from Erika Knight’s Simple Crochet.
Table derived from Margaret Metcalfe's Crochet.com.au Tips.

If you know to fill in the blanks, please comment and do so!

yey! I did a table!!

Things I am unlikely to ever make...

2007-01-29T19:48:00.000+11:00

Also in the category 'Bad names for 'looks''

Connex, you suck

2007-01-24T09:53:00.000+11:00

Below is my complaint to Connex. Its very mature and reserved, a lot less colourful than it was in my head on the way to work.
I try to be rather zen on public transport; I know it's likely to both suck and blow, and so I try not to let it ruin or define my day and allow enough time for the stuff ups/acts of God.
Here's today's episode/complaint:

The 8:28am city-bound train usually leaves Malvern from Platform 1. The system (overhead board) indicated this but about 2 minutes before the train arrived both the board and the automated announcement changed and stated that the train would leave from Platform 3. At least 100 people went to Plat.3, and listened to another announcement confirming that the 8:28 would arrive at Plat.3. We then saw the train arrive and stop at Plat.1. A lot of people ran back to Plat.1 to catch the train (which waited) but I chose not to as my shoes aren't safe for running down ramps. And I shouldn't have to.
The young woman left to defend the mistake coped very well with the swearing and dirty looks. Whether or not she's experienced enough, you need to have two people on at Malvern during peak times.Then we all crammed onto the next train - the 8:36, which arrived as scheduled and announced. This train was slow, as it stopped at all stations and each time we coped with another batch of grumpy people to fit on the train (not guilty of holding others up, I think, but those who wouldn't squish down the carriage might be).
The summer timetable is inadequate and should end on the second Monday of January. While Caulfield is a junction stop and receives all trains, Malvern services those to the northwest of Caulfield: it would be sensible to increase the train frequency between 8am and 8:50am.Luckily I don't have a job that requires me to be at the office on the dot at 9am, but I should be able to get to Williams/Collins by then when I arrive at Malvern station by 8:20am.

posted at http://www.connexmelbourne.com.au/help_contact/index.asp I encourage everyone to complain whenever they feel the need: think of it as constructive feedback. Or comeuppance.

In case anyone's watching.

2006-12-24T11:42:00.000+11:00

This week has been quiet on the blog front. My uncle passed away last weekend and the funeral was mid week. He was an excellent man: generous; friendly; always enjoyed himself and encouraged other to do so too; has wonderful children; an iconic type to me.
Favourite phrases include,

"G'day sweetheart. (with hug)"
"Who's is that noble dog?!"
"Well, I've confirmed it: All these pieces belong to another jigsaw puzzle."

It was an excellent funeral - one that had clearly benefited from my uncle being able to contribute and plan at least a little.

Two of my cousins did beautiful speeches, esp from my uncle's eldest son.

I bawled, of course, and my complexion makes me look like I've been crying for a day after only 5 mins.

The wake was at a golf club and then family went back to the house for a fish-and-chips dinner. Except for his noticable absence, it was a celebratory day. I suspect Boxing Day will be much the same.

Anyway, that's why it all been a bit low.

2006-12-04T18:59:00.000+11:00

Haikus can be glum
but also quite upbeat. Still,
they're mostly quirky.

I found these on a Yahoo 360 site by Suzy:

Cat Haiku, a selection

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that

You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue!

Kiwi!

2006-12-03T14:48:00.000+11:00

Cute, clever, beautiful and tragic. By Dony Permedi, found on Drawn!

Mesmorising

2006-12-03T14:41:00.000+11:00

An evolving whiteboard-stop-motion clip "created for the Swedish band Minilogue by Kristofer Strom from Ljudbilden & Piloten", found on Drawn!. Enjoy

Note to self

2006-12-03T14:22:00.000+11:00

Visit Found more often

"FOUND by Adam Skinner in Ontario, Canada: I found this on the way home from school on the ground."

"Oh. Your dog died? Shame."

2006-12-03T13:31:00.000+11:00

Rose, of www.mycathatesyou.com.
Make your own caption.

I also recommend Europa, Olive and The Flying Cat, so far.

An endless source of fun, are cats.

No, it's not just you...

2006-11-28T12:15:00.000+11:00

I was reading Dan's post on [redacted] about his family's birthday antics (found c/CB) and I recently gathered a similar story.

I attended the wedding of two great friends on the weekend. I don't know two better people - they're both generous, kind, thoughtful, intelligent, achieving, friendly, (good-looking darn it), and after a decade of knowing them - with at least 4 years of close friendship - I still don't know what their faults are. Unless 'inciting an inferiority complex' is one. It kills me.

One of them has an elderly grandad who's on oxygen. The contraption and cylinder rolls around with him and emits a high beep if the user isn't sucking enough juice out of it. So every now and then you get this 'flatline' sound in the background and any surrounding relatives give him a reminder-prod to breathe through his nose.
He was pretty deaf too. For example, after the MC announces the Bride and Groom to the reception room (you know, that couple in the big fancy clothes that everyone applauds, the grankiddies getting married) I hear "HE SAID 'JENNY AND JOHN MICHAELS'. HAVEN'T YOU GOT YOUR HEARING AID ON?"

So of course the speeches were excellent. The best man did a great job: "...as I'm sure you've learned, Jenny, during your two years living in sin together...'
Both the Bride and Groom made speeches and thank-yous. During the Groom's speech I got all teary (again), because he's just so freakin sweet, and couldn't decided if I was crying from joy or absurdity:
"She's just so fantastic. Every day has gotten better since I met her-"
Beeeeeeeeep"Breathe Mitch! Breathe!"
And I just couldn't hold it after that.

Okely-dokely

2006-11-28T12:04:00.000+11:00

It says:
REMEMBER, KEEP CALM - DON'T HANG UP. NOW - PLEASE TURN OVER & FILL IN THE BOMB THREAT REPORT.

Cheers for that.

Tattoo Make-up is for suckers.

2006-11-24T11:40:00.000+11:00

I have a good friend's wedding this weekend and yesterday I was browsing for make-up in a near-by chemist. As you do (or in case you don't) I marked my hand with a few lipsticks to see how they look and ended up with a nice little pink-red rainbow within about 10 mins.

Most places that stock a make-up range will also provide tissues to wipe off your 'experiment patch' (ooh, that phrase is so gunna catch). But not here. When I got back to the office, and had a go at it I was left with one of the colours holding fast to my skin like axl grease. I can't remember the name of it but I like to call it 'Pro Pink'. I also can't remember the brand, but do recall it was a double-ended type, with colour at one end and cover-gloss at the other.
This is what I have today, after a night's sleep and a shower:

Now I'll have to go and buy the damn stuff, and the nail polish, so I can co-ordinate with my freakin hand.

Update:
It's $30 a stick, so we can forget that. A good scrub did the job, although I lost some hair. Seriously, if you use it you'll have to plan a matching wardrobe for the following week.

What genre is that?

2006-11-23T18:29:00.000+11:00

We have a state election coming up. I don't know the rules for bio/policy statements, or how one should refer to oneself, or even one's candidate. But it can't be like this. Around 17 uses of the candidate's name - Judith - starts to read a bit awkwardly after a while.
Reader doesn't like this. Reader feels that a ratio of 'proper noun : pronoun' of 3:1 is a bit silly. Reader can see that this might've been done to cover any concerns about citations, but Reader feels that, as this is a primary reference for the candidate, readability should prevail.
For other unfortunate election literature, I refer you to The Nightwatchman's piece on another candidate. Enjoy.

As good as a holiday...

2006-11-19T14:44:00.000+11:00

And in the absence of any real holiday heading my way, I've changed my blog template. Wheeeh!
While reading the paper today, loathing protestor efforts and the representation of protestors at yesterdays (Fridays?) G20 in Melbourne, I noticed a L.t.t.Editor lamenting the demand on people's compassion these days...
Make Poverty History - the Melbourne concert and festival - Nov 17-18
World Organ Donation Day - 26 Oct 2006
Thank You Day - November - for good research
National Walk To Work Day - 6 Oct
Victorian Bluey Day - 26 Aug
Loud Shirt Day - Nov 19 (today!)
Daffodil Day - Aug 25
Movember (for men's health)
and many more

And for a moment I thought, yeah, there's a fine line for some between giving out of consciousness (or conscienciousness, or whatever) and giving out of guilt.

But I also thought that it might be a reflector of the live-to-work mentality. If we worked to live, then maybe giving might be a natural part of one's lifestyle. Mind you, for many it is. Its just something that you do because you can, and its exactly because you can that you do and should.
No one's asking people to cry for these things, just to do the effortless parts that make it easier for those who do cry.

(oh, you'll be dripping with guilt by now.)

Funny ha ha

2006-11-19T13:46:00.000+11:00

Ah, haiku. When will you ever funny stop?
http://www.savagechickens.com/

BTW...

2006-11-18T11:53:00.000+11:00

Re my stoftness with students.
This has shifted. I still put up with students talking over me more than I should, but not as much as I did.
I did have a challenging person who wanted to be bored most of the time, lying on the floor, acting sleepy, feigning dumbness.
Here are my various reponses:

'Try this first, then decide.'
Open and encouraging, but still allows the option of choosing boredom.
Say 'I want you to give it a go. I think you'll be good at this', place this in front of student and walk away.
This worked a few times, but had to be done in the morning.
Work through task with student, usually after they'd said she didn't understand it.
Worked in that the job got done, but didn't in that I was monopolised, and I soon learned that she did get it, but that she was either lying about it or hadn't listened the first time.
After three requests to get off the floor, or whatever avoidance strategy was being used, I'd say in a big stern voice "Sit up, get started and have a go! There no reason why you can't do this. I want to see (this much) by (when)."
This, strangly, worked best. Usually this student would happily work really well and nicely for the rest of the day after this. I still don't know that the go is there. Maybe she wanted to draw attention, get me 'upset', know that I cared enough to be upset for her, or know that I expected her to be on par with everyone else. She's a bright spark, nonethelesss.

Ready to Teach

2006-11-18T11:39:00.000+11:00

With each teaching round you supervising teacher has to produce a report for your university. At the end of the report are two boxes, essentially saying Ok, or Not Ok. On your last round the 'Ok' option says 'Ready to teach'. And my teacher ticked that one. :D

The report has to be agreed on by both student-teacher and supervising teacher, and my ST seemed to have only one critical comment: Something to the effect of 'Should step back when more experienced teachers are present to take charge'. Which I think is code for 'bossy' and 'talks too much'*.

This has been a recurring problem in my life. I can cite being young for my year level (inferiority complex?), oooor being the youngest (by a long way) in my family (who chronically interrupt each other), or being bossy, or my previous post. But in the end I wasn't that worried about it... I've decided to put it down to reckless enthusiasm. I think that a few of the stepping-on-toes events might have been because of presumptions about student-teachers; how are they to know that I've worked with databases, or have a drama/dance background? Or that after 4 years of FT work I just can't be bothered acting recessive and/or submissive just to let people feel justified? I'm too old for that crap.
Ah, well,... its as good for them as it was for me, eh?

*I know that it may, mind you, also mean 'Overestimates her ability'. But I didn't take charge of anything in place of anyone else, or when uninvited, and I didn't get that message in her report either.

The End Part 1

2006-11-18T11:22:00.000+11:00

Last Monday was my last day of teaching rounds for this year. It was my last day to officially practice teaching primary-school aged kids. Once I get my results back on Dec 2 (God willing) I'll be done for the year.

Of course, as a regular IT user I've been feeling guilty for not posting more often during such interesting life events, but I've been afraid of unethically blurting our stories about children or other school antics. Interesting to me, not necessarily to others. Doesn't stop me from using the stories in general conversation though, with names removed/changed, of course. Case in point, the last words from the child who opened up and leaned on me the most were 'Can I go now?'

I also know that my 9yo neice reads this blog too, so I'm trying to keep it clean and appropriate, which is sort of pointless in blogging but I'm challenging myself to stay interesting without swearing. Which is going to be a pain in the ass in no time.
In other news...

I've already gotten temp work lined up for around Christmas, and its 3 days a week for about 6 weeks. Note inherent up and down sides to that.
I've already gotten work during my 'week off'. See above.
I have a wedding of two best friends next weekend, that I'm really looking forward to, but have yet to find a gift we want to give them. (Up and down sides provided)
My youngest brother turned 40. Not really much more to add but I understand he had a really good time.
I've tried my best to understand the upcoming state election, but have become increasingly annoyed.

Other stuff as happened, of course...

2006-09-24T13:39:00.000+10:00

I have a mid-semester break now, for a week. For most its merely a patch without classes when we can get on with our work, and I'm one of those folk.
Since last posting I've completed a teaching round in a far away place and done another Amelia Earhart cap, one that actually fits me, and just in time to go away with the rest of the winter clothes till next year.
So, I've learned a few things...

I'm bossy. I don't know where this comes from. As a kid I was generally unpopular and rent-a-crowd in style. But now, as a post grad I actually have a reputation for taking charge. Eeew! I end up in groups and poeple say 'You look like an organised person. I think you should manage the group.' 'Yeah me too' say the echoing members. I have a teeny bit of resentment until I realise I don't like group work unless I either really trust the group leader, or I hijack the group's mangment so I'm happy with the way its going. It's not that I'm inflexible, or don't like others' ideas (yeah right, you say) but I get nervous if we're without a leading focal point, so to speak. And in this society people are too polite to complain or stop me. I do this with group teaching too, unless the process has been decided upon earlier.
I'm thorough, I think. I'm not entirely sure but I'm getting crap about it. People know me by name before they've met me, due do online work through uni. They say to my friends 'You know her? What's she like?' I mean, come on.
I'm softer with students than I thought I'd be. When they sook, or don't feel like doing things, I try to talk them around to being motivated, or sympathise with their situation. In other cases I think 'What? forget that! get on with the job and get it done. Weak!!' Lord knows how effective indifference would be, but there has to be a middle ground I can work with. Something like 'You'll be assessed on it. And things could be worse. The sooner you start, the sooner its over.' etc etc.
If someone in the group is a greater extrovert than me, I shut up. Because I, too, am a sook. At some stage I might shift the status struggle and win-over with 'superiority through maturity', but I've got to be bothered, and there are conditions attached.

So I've got my hand up for temp work in this week off but you can't plan for anything of course, in case something comes up. God willing, my industrious streak will keep up till the end of term...

Wee knitting project - Amelia Earhart Aviator Cap

2006-07-29T13:54:00.000+10:00

I did this in two evenings of telly with a blue crepe wool - mostlikely an 8ply Cleckheatons. Find the original pattern at Headhuggers.org - its a fantastic site.
In hindsight I suspect I should've used a greater ply, tho I did use the correct needle size I think (4mm?). Anyway, my result, shown below, fits me but looks too small, even with the two lines of crochet around the edges (the chin strap is dble ch). So it will go to my baby niece. :)

My Sister's jumper

2006-07-29T13:42:00.000+10:00

I finished it - finally!!! I used this wool to make another junper for her - it was too roomy, had a shallowneck and made her look odd. So we took it apart and I made this one instead (Panda 'Jumper knitted in puffed rib, with crocheted neck edging', in pamphlet 767)

Gorgeously Sinister

2006-07-15T13:52:00.000+10:00

Check out these realPlayer animation clips:

'Small Pulse' about "an unsuspecting boy who stumbles upon a lucky coin. His curiosity gets the best of him, when he manages to set a toy robot free from a vending machine..."
and 'Wat a Wonderful Day', further down that page, where "A bunny makes a magical discovery and meets an unfortunate end in this quirky animation".

Art for me

2006-07-15T13:27:00.000+10:00

and something for everyone else...

kawaii not

Better than okay

2006-07-05T09:55:00.000+10:00

When I finished my last job I was given a gift voucher at a nearby shop - the sort that sells expensive skin and hair care products - including obscure-purpose ones - as well as services like facials, spas, etc. So I thought I'd add a little $ to the voucher and turn it into a 2hr massage. I was looking forward to a slow transformation from adult woman to puddle.

It was lovely. I could've had the back massage three times over. And I recall clearly thinking in my head 'Gee I hope she does that again' after the hot face towel press. I found it really hard to relax and had to focus on releasing a lot of hand, arm and knee muscles. But the facial part took me by surprise.
It was something like a dozen different applications - something cereal-like, things cold and avocado-y, hot presses, slippery oils, eye pads, gels, the who gamut. Mind you, 2hrs was the longest service they offered, so if a gamut was to be had now was the time.

It was reported to me that my face has combination skin and that it was 'okay' considering.
Considering what? Considering that no-one pegs me above 25? Considering I've had new graduates talk down to me because they think they're senior? Maybe she meant I've gotten too much sun. Who knows, but I was slightly miffed at 'okay'. I prefer 'in great shape',or 'really good', or some other euphemism for okay, frankly. Like 'Do nothing, it's perfect'

I'm in denial about it but I suspect this little miffiness got the better of me: I bought some product. :| I know. I'm so weak.
And its the cereal-type stuff, of all things, because if one must buy something one should always start with this. So I'll be trying desperately to keep my boyfriend from looking at it or seeing me in it lest he a) run from the flat screaming, or b) fall unconscious from an oxygen depriving fit of laughter. I've even been trying to think of things I can say to lighten the mood (read, gain some respect) if he does see me in this leprous oatmeal/almond stuff; at the moment I'm planning on a lazy-eyed 'braaaains'. I mean, I really can't defend this, other than to say my skin is simply 'okay', but not good. I'm so ashamed. (And the stuff stinks too.)

The whole day, begun with a sleep-in and largely filled with this indulgence, was continued with more indulgence at Borders where I tried to spend a voucher from my brother. After being cyclically miffed, appalled and disbelieving of the paltry selection of knitting mags (all of 3), and then unimpressed with the offerings on the bookshelf, I settled on The Nanny Diaries (which I now highly recommend for nice and smart brainfood) and Girls' Night Out 3.

And then it was home for an evening of telly and knitting. Almost perfect.

Who knew!!

2006-07-03T13:22:00.000+10:00

Last Wednesday I interviewed for a temping agency.
Then on Friday I got a one-day job on a reception.
And I got another one today. Who knew it would be so fruitful!!
Its an oddly rewarding thing to have a 'job to do' but very little to do in it. The phone rings half as often here as at Friday's office, and that wasn't very often at all. But, where Friday's office was immaculate and sparse, today's desk has 15 piles of paper on it and three machines. (Granted, Friday's office had a water feature that mostly inspired a need-to-go-to-the-loo feeling, rather than any nice Feng Shui-ness.) (Friday's office also had signs on the back of each toilet door saying "To maintain good Feng Shui and success at Co. please place the toilet seat down after use." It was permanent.) Yet, in both I have no real task other than to answer the phone. Not that I'm complaining. And I'm trying not to jinx myself. But there you go. It's a tough life for some.

Animals That Look Like Something 1

2006-06-28T14:54:00.001+10:00

(It's highly optimistic of me to imply that this will become a series of posts, but what am I if not optimistic. Nothing. That's what.)

CuteOverload were good enough to bring Hitler Cats to our attention. Now you may think "Yeah, alright, how far than this go." Well, there is a surprising amount of cats with well placed black patches, but its the Hitler-in-spirit types that will keep me giggling - I refer here to the postings up to 06/21/06 12:30.

What 'Stupid' is that?

2006-06-27T16:29:00.000+10:00

Using a leaf blower on a windy day. Is it:
a) dopey?
b) moronic?
c) boneheaded?
d) fatheaded? or
e) Other _______________

Film Review: The Break Up

2006-06-26T10:31:00.000+10:00

Better than I thought it would be. Had some funny bits. But Vince Vaughn has too many eyelids, and I just don't find him attractive or endearing. Sorry.

Film Review: Stayin' Alive

2006-06-18T17:40:00.000+10:00

Not very good.

Happy Couples

2006-06-18T16:57:00.001+10:00

I recently asked some friends if it was really any different being married, for them at least. And it turns out it is. Her family had changed, his hadn't. Her family seemed to feel that it was now all as it should be. Granted, they had gone out a long time, and the proposal has a story, but it was never really as though anyone was being stuffed around.
I feel, in my long-term relationship, that where his family is looking forward to a wedding, my family is waiting for a wedding. It's taken a while to convince my family that they don't have to worry about the situation, and as civil as my family is, 'forthrightness' has never really been a stretch, so it often makes me uncomfortable.
But here's what I wonder: is it a sexism thing? Do people still think that because the guy usually does the asking, the girl is at the mercy of the relationship? Or does it just depend on how long a couple has been going out? or their age? What's the age/relationship length ratio before families start thinking 'What are you doing with our girl?' Do people assume that a lack of a marriage proposal means a lack of decisions in general?

The end of part 1 of 4

2006-06-18T16:43:00.000+10:00

I've finished first semester. Well, really I finished it about two weeks ago. I now have the rich fortune of being able to repay every Nelson 'ha ha' my boyfriend gave me for those dozen or so 8am lectures: I'm so far unspoken for until sometime in July. What. A. Shame.

I've applied for a job, but I'm not that fussed about its outcome, no right now. Maybe in a few days I'll be up for it. Maybe its because I'm hung over. I'm not sure.

I can safely say, however, that I'm glad I started the course. I've enjoyed it. It's been challenging. I'm watching Stayin' Alive. John Travolta's doing 'angry dancing'. That hair makes his head look big.

Things About Getting Older

2006-02-26T14:00:00.000+11:00

It's O-Week in the campuses of Melbourne and, I presume, around the country. This marks the ten year anniversary of my big coming-of-age move to the city.

I have a circle of friends I made at uni and, like many social groups from uni, its a funny one. I caught up with this group at a party last night and, as is increadibly apt for a Tin/Aluminium Anniversary, I learned some amazing facts about what I remember.

I learned that someone who I thought had disliked me had actually sought out my approval. I thought this was the first person who disliked me, not becuase they were mean or mislead or becuase of something I'd done, but for who I was. I thought they disliked me for all the things I was acutally proud of: my nonconsumerism, my lack of dieting or calorie counting, my leftie leanings and my general lack of spending money on appearances. And it turns out, after all this time, that when *I heard* them judging my actions and choices with disapproval they may actually have, in a slightly misleading way, been showing they cared by offering advice. (Granted it was advice that was often way off the mark for me: We were Very different poeple.)

At the time, being young and (from what I recall) still trying to prove I was a formidable intellect, well, I remember being aloof and indifferent and 'confident' and I suspect that I may have been rude. In fact, I suspect that I may now cringe if I were told what I said back then. At last night's party I learned that, as clearly needy as that person could be, maybe I should've given a little more than I let on; maybe I should've been more responsible with my knowledge that this person craved validation. I think there were times I could have been a better person.

I know now that, since then and in a measurable time in the past, I have tried to remember to behave in a way that I would be happy with in hindsight, ideally integrity. And I know that this sort of revelation has happened to poeple in blogland time and time again. So there's my version of it.

We're back!

2006-02-26T11:49:00.000+11:00

We've been back for almost a week now. We did around 6,500kms going up to Bateman's Bay, doing a loop around the Snowies, going along the Murray, over to Adelaide and along the coast back to Melbourne, all in a campervan. (Which I recommend - see a few photos of it here.) My old workmates are suitably envious of my tan, uneven as it is (becuase its natural. uh huh). And its all about to end.

I start a two-year teaching degree tomorrow at 8am.

Now, at this stage, I could discuss my keenness, apprehensions and fears for about 8Mb but I suspect that articulating all this will burst the bubble, so to speak. So, I'm going to leave it for a while and say that if you are particularly interested then, by all means, let me know: we'll chat.

I play Flickr. So what?

2006-01-16T16:16:00.000+11:00

An interesting comment at Antenna on why Flickr has become so popular and, especially for those who post to it, intriguing and addictive.

... flickr is inherently, down-to-its-bones about play. If you look at a list of the elements of a successful game, they are all present in flickr: a sense of space to explore, a range of challenges, a range of abilities which can succeed, the need for preparation and skill, a variable feedback system... - read more

Question is: is blogging really much different...?

PARK(ing): a quiet riot

2006-01-16T16:06:00.000+11:00

From rebar:

"The initial PARK(ing) intervention occurred on November 16, 2005 from noon until 2 p.m., without incident or interference from any level of institutional authority. Sort of makes you wonder what else you can do in a parking space . . ."

Excellent light lunchtime reading

2006-01-13T14:39:00.000+11:00

SBS has an excellent show called Speaking in Tongues where John Saffran chats with Father Bob of South Melbourne's Catholic church and various guests, where they talk about religion and life in general. They have a segment called Father Bob's Billboard where poeple can send in ideas for the next week, visit the site for the full link. Here are my favourites for a taster.

"Deity deeds done dirt cheap" - Grant McDonald

"Wake up and smell the Moses" - Daryl Collins

"Get the flock inside" -Sharon McRay

"I can't believe it's not Buddha" - Christopher Miles

"Donate a church organ we need your heart" - Edward Raison

"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1" - Sarah Diamonds

Will I ever get round to making something like this...?

2006-01-13T10:15:00.000+11:00

source and shots of other funky bags

My Superhero Alterego...

2006-01-11T14:20:00.000+11:00

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Flaming Phantom
Your Superpower is Supernatural
Your Weakness is Itching
Your Weapon is Your Wind Rod
Your Mode of Transportation is Pogo Stick

Suprisingly accurate.

What's" your Superhero Name?

What the...

2006-01-11T14:15:00.000+11:00

A story from a work mate.

Her friend was putting 3yo girl to bed...

"Will you be in my bed in the morning Mummy?"
"No, probably not"
"Will you still be here when the Germans come?"

This Friday

2006-01-11T13:29:00.000+11:00

This Friday is my last fulltime day at this job.
Then I go on holiday.
And then I go back to uni.
Quarterlife crisis ahoy.

Speaking of movies....

2006-01-11T13:27:00.000+11:00

If you've recently visted The Nightwatchman (which I highly recommend), skip this....

will you watch Brokeback Mountain
a) becuase you think it looks promising?
b) to stick it up the U.S. ultra-conservative types who can't cope with a movie in their state?
c) becuase you're a leftie arts student and even if it looks like crap you won't be called a bigot dammit?
d) Not see it, even if you want to, becuase you won't be subject to reverse-reverse psychology? or
e) becuase you have a crush on the two male leads.

I, myself, will be voting with option b.
And a little from option a.
And some option e.

Excellent Collective Nouns (not necessary official)

2005-11-23T12:04:00.000+11:00

a snuggle of puppies

a frenzy of ferrets

a wank of bankers

a scream of drag queens

Things read over people's shoulders on public transport...

2005-11-23T12:01:00.000+11:00

'So many cats... so few recipies'

The Beanies and Booties...

2005-11-18T12:10:00.000+11:00

went to my new neice - Claire Elizabeth, almost 9lbs!! Gorgeous girl.

From my sister

2005-11-17T11:18:00.000+11:00

About a conversation with my neice (8yo):

Last night after tea Jenny said there should be a little space ship with a camera on the front sent out into space into the universe to keep on going to get to the end as she didn't think the universe could go on for ever. I said if it didn't go on for ever then it would have an edge, like at the end of it. And there would have to be something on the other side of the edge, even if it was nothing. She thought really hard about it, and then said she'd have to go and do something else because thinking about it was making her brain dizzy.

WASTE NOT DAMMIT!

2005-11-16T11:52:00.000+11:00

I live in a nice suburb, one of the nicest in Melbourne. Recently we had what we call 'hard rubbish collection' which is when everything that's rubbish, non-chemical and movable by two guys gets left on the nature strip for the council to take away.

Sometimes its a real community event; people set up on the porch to see how long the stuff sticks around, taking bets on what time of day that partial lounge suite will get hauled off by a passer-by.

But I, personally, take issue with putting out functional and useful items for 'rubbish' collection. And I have found that my area brings out the worst in me regarding this.

Here is a list of what poeple put out in the last of our local rounds: a child's mattress, a double mattress, a fireplace hearth, 6 matching and undamaged chairs, various working deskchairs, two matching chairs, a turntable with two speakers, another turntable with speakers, wooden drawers, a jason recliner, another large mattress, various toys, and other things that I DON'T THINK ARE ACTUALLY RUBBISH.

Why don't these people donate things that could so clearly be of use to a charity group. Some of them even come and pick up the big items.

What's more, most of these things were put out the day before a heavy and expected evening storm, making almost everything officially rubbish.
What waste.

For the Good of Your Country

2005-10-31T15:39:00.000+11:00

Something in the way our government is travelling at the moment gives me an uneasy gut; a metallic taste in my mouth. I don't know why I'm worried about the Indutrial Relations reforms - I can hardly articulate this feeling I have that its not a good idea. Its suspect, I tells ya.

I think somewhere along the line I got the notion that weakening the Unions will weaken the Labour Party (who are the only real alternative we have to the Libs) and they're useless enough as it is. As in, thoroughly dysfunctional. And then The NightWatchman goes and puts up pictures that make it just that little bit more tangible....