Sunday, 22 August 2010


This, delivered via Bluemilk (you are such a star):

7. Motherhood involves sacrifice, how do you reconcile that with being a feminist?

Everything involves sacrifice. I don’t buy into the notion that anyone can have it all in any context. Being in a relationship involves sacrifice, being a child or a sibling or a friend involves sacrifice, just being a person involves sacrifice at some point.

For a long time now I've been waiting for the want of motherhood, suspecting that I will never get clucky until I am a mother, and that if I don't want to be elderly and childless then I'll just have to get on with it, current reluctance be damned (romantic, no?).
But a large part of my hesitation is selfish - what will I be forced to give up for this? Will I resent myself for it? And what if it sucks, or I suck at it? What if its harder than I ever imagined? (And I have a good imagination for melancholy.)
Then I read this and realised I forgot to think about the road so far; it hasn't been perfect*, and I have given up many things and been OK, often happy. I've also forgotten to look at what's between the parents and their children, rather than just at their trials and challenges.

*Forget for a moment the privilege I live in and how perfect that is in the greater scale of things.