I was reading Dan's post on [redacted] about his family's birthday antics (found c/CB) and I recently gathered a similar story.
I attended the wedding of two great friends on the weekend. I don't know two better people - they're both generous, kind, thoughtful, intelligent, achieving, friendly, (good-looking darn it), and after a decade of knowing them - with at least 4 years of close friendship - I still don't know what their faults are. Unless 'inciting an inferiority complex' is one. It kills me.
One of them has an elderly grandad who's on oxygen. The contraption and cylinder rolls around with him and emits a high beep if the user isn't sucking enough juice out of it. So every now and then you get this 'flatline' sound in the background and any surrounding relatives give him a reminder-prod to breathe through his nose.
He was pretty deaf too. For example, after the MC announces the Bride and Groom to the reception room (you know, that couple in the big fancy clothes that everyone applauds, the grankiddies getting married) I hear "HE SAID 'JENNY AND JOHN MICHAELS'. HAVEN'T YOU GOT YOUR HEARING AID ON?"
So of course the speeches were excellent. The best man did a great job: "...as I'm sure you've learned, Jenny, during your two years living in sin together...'
Both the Bride and Groom made speeches and thank-yous. During the Groom's speech I got all teary (again), because he's just so freakin sweet, and couldn't decided if I was crying from joy or absurdity:
"She's just so fantastic. Every day has gotten better since I met her-"
Beeeeeeeeep"Breathe Mitch! Breathe!"
And I just couldn't hold it after that.